Mama Be Hatin'

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it: my kid's weird. Okay, not all the time, but a good deal of the time lately. He's getting these "ideas" in his head and once they are there, they really stick and he can't get them out.

Take the new blankie obsession. It HAS to be wrapped around his waist towel-style and tied in the back so he simply cannot walk. I thought it was a one-time dealio when he had that tantrum night. Nope, it's an all the time thing now. He looks like a complete and total dorkus; but, he's tickled pink whenever I do it.

I've taken to trying to enforce the "no blankie out of the crib" rule, but since he can reach into the crib and snatch it through the bars, I'm pretty much at a loss to prevent it's eminent appearance anywhere from the dinner table to the viewing stands outside the shower, which he inhabits every morning. I at least try not to acquiesce to every single demand for "bankie up!" when he raises his hands and wants it on.

And, he's also taken to a weird game that I do admit to starting: pretending that he's the dog while in the bathtub. He puts the toys in his mouth and shakes his head wildly from side to side and grrrrrrrrrowls. But, nowadays the game's just not fun unless Mommy puts her teeth on the other side of the toy and we play tug of war.

If that wasn't enough of a weird-kiddo for you, the other night, he insisted on "helping" us put his toys away at the end of bath time via mouth. Seriously. Weird.

And, the ultimate weird....he's got cooties. That's what I've decided to call the leprosy/bug bites/hive thingies. So, he's been off antibiotics for weeks and weeks and he's still getting hives. Bryon and I have been up at dawn repeatedly with a flashlight to check for bed bugs (okay Bryon's been up to check for them at my demand and I've rolled over upon his return to say: "mmmftfhlsal bugs? fmalalh zzzzzzz." The ultimate result is no bugs and we think he's allergic to milk.

We came to the conclusion shortly after a meal during which the kid became so filthy we stripped him down to his skivvies and about ten minutes after finishing he broke out like nobody's business. Ping, ping, ping, spots appeared like a freak dot-to-dot, popping up first on his face, then chest, then back, then arms and legs. It was like watching a Polaroid develop. So, whatever it is, it was something he just ate. We narrowed it down to milk/dairy. So, he's had no/limited milk/dairy for the last four days and the spots are receding if not completely gone. Every time he has the slightest bit of dairy, there's a spot breakout. Grrrrrr.

"Look, Ma! No hives! But, I am pretty interested in planting this "A" on my chest. What do you mean it 'means' something to have a scarlet letter on your chest?"

Apparently, he gets this cootie freakiness from his Daddy...what, you expect an imperfection from moi? Of course not. Daddy had a milk allergy from about age two to about age seven as reported from Granny (I think I got that age right). Anyway, we are fighting with the insurance and the specialist to get an appointment squared away to figure out the extent of the allergy and to figure out if he should be avoiding anything else or living in a bubble and whether Mommy can stop checking him three times a night to make sure he's still breathing should he have accidentally encountered too much of a milk ingredient in something she didn't realize contained milk.

Yes, I'm just THAT paranoid. Shut up! Would it be weird to ask him to call me like three times a night while he's away at college, just to know he's all right?

In Collin's great milk-void, he's taken to drinking soap/pee water from the tub. He finds it refreshing and invigorating after a long day. It hits the spot quite nicely.

P.S. Collin's not such a fan of this no more dairy thing. All of his favorite things are dairy: "circo cheese" (aka baby belle circle cheese), "yogi" (aka yogurt), of course milk!, and cheese of any kind and don't get me started on ice cream (which we don't have much but if he finds out that he can't have it, boy I don't want to be there for that conversation!)

AAAAAAAH! No more ice cream! Kidding. this is Collin painting his Christmas ornament. Yeah, yeah, I know it's January. We were busy.