Choices...One of THOSE Days

Today, I made a choice; or rather, I'm making a choice. I'm choosing to remember the Collin of yesteryear. I'm choosing to remember the adorable, itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny Collin that snuggled me and wanted not only to be within centimeters of me, but also to be snuggling me. I'm choosing this because, if I don't, I may actually smash his face into the couch. So, this is how I choose to see Collin today. There are no pictures of him "today" because I spent every minute so far either, not strangling him or briefly enjoying him. It's been a bit manic over here.

He had his first accident today. Not a big deal. Kids do that and it happened on the way to the potty, so I wasn't too bummed about it. I think he's a little scared of the poopie part of all this, and he's got to go, so he is a little nervous about going all together now. Anyway, it was a setback and it kind of sucked. Alas, bum out number 1 for the day. He was "sorry! sorry! sorry!" He knew he did wrong, so it was comforting. He even sang his, "no more diapers," song.

But, as I hopped in the shower, he tried to play peek-a-boo, like always. I told him to just go read stories because I felt a little sad about wet pants and wasn't in the mood. Who knew he'd do it! When I got out of the shower, lo and behold, he's quietly on the couch, flipping through his stories. Awwwww. I called out looking for him and it was pretty sweet to hear him yell, "reading, mama!" when I asked where he was, and even more sweet to actually see his little body on the big couch with books strewn all around him.

So, we read stories together for the next forty minutes or so, snuggling. It was not all together unpleasant, I must say. He insisted that when we got to the picture of the "peanut car," in one of his books, that I hug him and call him "my peanut." How cute is that? Of course, we kept talking about potty and that he should be going in the potty, blah, blah, blah.

Then, we went and played outside in the playroom. Then, on our next emergency trip to the potty, he leaned over and smashed one of my breakables in the bathroom. He knows it's a no touch and in his long life, he has NEVER broken a thing in our house. He's very good at not touching things he's not supposed to touch. But, he was just screwing around in there, aggravating me because he's afraid to push and wham, slammed a sand-filled vase of shells off a shelf and onto the floor. I lost it. I cried. The frustration of the day got to me. Did I mention he's got a snot cold too?

"Mama sad," he repeated over and over again. He hugged me. He kissed me. He repeated that the "shell broke," over and over too. Nothing really helped. You know what would've helped? If he would've dropped a nice dookie in the potty. Alas, that didn't happen, but he did pee. That's nice. Oh, and we've established that if I tell him to push, he just presses his fingers into his penis and "pushes," it in, like reversing a turtleneck. Not exactly the right idea.

Anyway, it's been a stressful day. I know an accident here and there is to be expected, but couple it with the impending poop that could pop at any moment and throw my smashed wedding favor on top of that, and you know what, I'm gonna cry...a lot. And, "mama sad," doesn't fix it, especially with 2-second toddler hugs. So, I have to, while he's sleeping, pretend that he's still my precious little, immobile, non-back talking infant who dotes on me. I know it's awesome to have a kid that thinks the sun rises and sets with you, but it's also pretty great to have one that will curl up on you when you just need some lovin' from him, like now.

I am focusing, right now, on the positives, which are:

Two accidents in four days isn't much

He woke up dry again this morning

He is sorry

We're still positive and upbeat about this (around Collin!)

He's proud when he makes it and is dry

He was sad when Mommy was sad, and wanted to fix it...very sweet

He's the best kid ever

Snot is less gross than puke