Thursday, April 30, 2009
1. It's cold
2. I'm beginning to wonder if the trash man thinks it's actually me who is waiting for him and the kid is a cover
3. It's boring to wait for him to come back around the cul-de-sac
4. The neighbors think I'm weird
5. Collin gets filthy while we wait because we have no grass
6. It smells like trash next to the cans
7. Half the time, I'm still in my PJs too...that's fun for the neighbors to see (see 4)
8. I just don't get it!!?? Garbage truck, hydraulics, woo-hoo? Can we move on now?
9. He arrives at unpredictable times, meaning sometimes I have to drag the kid from his breakfast chair out there, covered in food and we look like white trash on the curb just so we don't miss him. (aka covered in food, filth and in PJs...nice...see 4)
10. I'm sick of it!!!
Alas, I've devised a plan. It's wacky. It's crazy. It's out there. It just might work. A chair in front of the window!! Collin can see the garbage man from the window, and he can see him all the way down the cul-de-sac and back! It's better than before. The greatest part is we don't have to go outside and I can continue on with my life indoors! Wheee! How great is that!? He was a little displeased when he drove out of sight, but otherwise it went well.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
In all fairness, it boils down to one issue...stop, and I do mean STOP touching your pee, Collin! For the love of all that is sacred on this earth, STOP!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
And your mother takes blurry, extremely close-up pictures of it in an attempt to NOT capture the fact that your Daddy caved and got in the tub with you to play after your relentless begging. Yeah, it's cute and fun but not so pleasing to the general public eye. Oh, don't worry, there are plenty of blackmail images available for my future use.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
All I can say is that I have survived my first brush with vomit. I cleaned it up. I did not die. I did not faint. I did not swoon. I did not even gag. But, I am glad that my hubby is back by dinnertime tonight to help me with the care and non-feeding of this sick kiddo as the amount of stuff that is coming out of him is surprising and foul.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Anyway, we made it to Disneyland and the day rocked. We rode something we never rode before, the little horse drawn buggy that goes down main street. Collin thought that Kaleb, our horse was pretty cool. I attempted the whole "extended arm" photography thing. I'm fairly impressed with myself. I'm also impressed with the bags under my eyes. Collin woke up at 2 am last night to wet the bed, and stayed up for thirty minutes to cry about me changing the sheets. (we're working on underwear at night just for the heck of it...why not? He's stayed dry for the most part).
Alas, what's more fun than a real horse? Why, a fake one of course! This would be Collin on the carousel. Can you tell he likes it?
I learned something about Collin today too...that he's tall! Well, the Disneyland definition of tall enough, that is. He's officially tall enough to ride the smallest coasters there. So, we stood in line for the coaster in toon town. Oh, how excited he was. Oh, how excited Mommy was. It was more cool than I can describe. Then, literally as our feet were about to hit the car, the little voice on the big speaker made us get back off. Apparently, there was an earthquake that we didn't feel. When that happens, all the rides at Disneyland are shut down and inspected by engineers for safety, especially roller coasters. The roller coasters take the longest to re-open, like three to four hours. Since it was almost 6 o'clock, we went home. Pooh! Next time! I guess we'll share that experience with Daddy too!
Collin and I will just have to share the teacups again as one of those "Mommy and Me" only memories, I guess! (Seeing as how they make Daddy barf!)
It's pretty obvious who's stronger stomach Collin inherited...no barfy barfy for Collin. Oh, and look who had to buy a new sweatshirt today. When the weather report says 70s, Mommy didn't predict having to bring a sweatshirt. I think he looks cute!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Today, when I heard the grunting cease, as is my cue to enter and begin wiping, I was appalled at the scene. In the few seconds it took me to stop washing dishes and make it to the bathroom to commence the wiping procedure (no, I don't leave him alone in there for GADS of time), he'd made a Jackson Pollack of himself with poop. It was beautiful really, if you are into that kind of abstract art with feces. He picked his poop up out of the potty, rubbed it all over his leg, on his face, in his hair. It is the stuff of legend really. The best part? The tantrum he threw when I insisted on washing it off. Or wait, maybe the best part was that in the midst of this, he decided to sit down on my lap before I had a chance to wipe his bottom. That was pretty awesome too.
I also nixed his idea of wearing his underwear on his head, despite the fact that it was indeed funny.
Monday, April 20, 2009
It was absurdly hot today; not that I'm complaining, of course. The day Bryon gets orders out of here and we have to move, I will cry, wail and bemoan my fate to the Air Force gods until you all can't stand hearing another word about it. But, considering it is only April, it was a bit unusual for it to be in the 90's, I think. Alas, we swam.
And, we stripped. Okay, only one of us stripped. The other one of us sweltered and decided it was inappropriate to walk around the house in her underwear.
P.S. Does anyone else miss those sweat curls that he would've had today? Anyone? Anyone? Only me? Okay.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
See, Collin is pretty convinced that they were trying to strangle him with this cape.
Yeah, I made them give me a lock of his hair...and then some. I don't care if I seemed crazy.
And, anything that promises to give him a lolipop at the end is sure to be a winner in his book.
Now, I feel like I actually have to get to know him again. He literally looks like a little STRANGER to me. I finally cried when we put him down for a his nap and he said, "Mama stop sad please!" It was adorable. That's my sweet boy. I even got a hug out of the deal...and a head butt. He is a boy, afterall.
The new, and I'm told, "improved" Collin.
Friday, April 17, 2009
(who, by the way, in all photos I could find wore plenty of Hawaiian shirts and plenty of Detroit caps but not both at the same time. What the heck! Apparently, he thought the hat was just to casual for "dressed up" Hawaiian shirts. I don't know; I didn't watch the show.)
Of course, it wasn't Collin's fault he looked like an 80's sex symbol. He just goes with the flow around here and Mommy didn't stop him like she should have. Noooooo, she just snapped pictures, later to incriminate him. He doesn't look like he minds too much at the moment.
He also looked darn cute. I also figured that since I managed to break him of the pacifier, I would take on the challenge of finally getting this kid to wear a hat and keep it on his head for longer than thirty seconds. So, we went to the park with a hat on, with the promise of a cookie when he got home if he kept it on the whole time.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Anyway, we went to Redondo Beach for a burger at Ruby's Diner afterward. He had so much fun there, coupled with lying down in the parking lot on the way back to the car, of course. Jeesh, you'd think I was killing the kid! He took a nap between these two events! I think he was milking the exhaustion factor a little bit; and, he wasn't even the one who had to carry his sorry butt a half-mile through the darn zoo back to the car earlier in the day. I'm the one who should've been lying in the street in the ocean breeze, I think! Besides, I'm the one who's now got his cold and he's the one on the mend.
The upside is that we had an awesome day together, just hanging out and seeing animals. He's pretty sure we saw peacocks and elephants, which we did not. He's also pretty sure that it's a really good idea to lick, yes LICK the toilet seat cover dispenser in the restroom at Ruby's. EWWWW! I'm just trying to block that memory, along with the memory of him touching the floor of the public restroom of the beach access public parking garage at Redondo Beach, which he just HAD to use before we went home. I'll just do my best to replace those two memories with the fact that we were out of the house all day today and he didn't have a single accident. Wahoo!
Or, I'll replace it with the memory of ride home from dinner, during which Collin decided to sing along with Joan Jett on the radio..."I Love Rock and Roll." Yeah, so put another dime in the juke box, baby. As, I type this, he was singing it to his monkey upstairs in his bed. Apparently, it's a catchy little tune.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
He gave me so many ham and cheese smiles when I whipped out the camera to capture this moment of "mama shoes on!" that I couldn't pick which picture was the best one.
Seriously, these are the best. He's such a cutie pie. (In case you are wondering, Daddy's gone again, and when he's gone, pants are apparently optional around here.)