From the Bathroom Files

When poop becomes the center of your life, the prime focus of your day, the thing you think of most, it can only mean one thing: you are a parent, and most likely, a mother. I spend more time than I'd like to admit dealing with the poop of this household. Between the dog, whose poop I mysteriously seem to be the primary scooper of; the cat, who I am certainly the primary scooper of; and the baby, who admittedly, Bryon does help with the "scooping" of, there's definitely a lot of poop to be dealt with. Thankfully, the adults do it in the potty.

Well, as of yesterday, I got to complete my third "cleanse" in prep for my, what should be, final tummy test. Yep, because of my tummy, poop has become much too much of a topic of conversation in my household. I keep it mum for the most part among others; but to keep the details to a minimum; I plain old don't feel well a lot of the time, it has to do with poop, there's something wrong in there, and they need to do lots of unpleasant tests to figure out how to treat it properly. Weeeee!

Anyway, the last test failed because my body is some sort of freak of nature. I had to swallow this gigantic capsule that contained a camera that takes pictures of my tummy and intestines and transmits them via electrodes connected to my body and downloads them to a computer I wear on my vest/belt all day.

It's very stylish...so stylish in fact that the woman on the brochure wears it to work with her power suit and briefcase. Considering that to prep for the test the night before, she should've spent about 12 hours on the crapper and the previous 12 hours eating nothing but green jello and clear broth, I highly doubt she's doing anything but lying in bed right about now, especially since she's also allowed nothing but the same diet today and by about 9 am today, you feel strong enough to be knocked over by a feather. What do you think, do I look ready to do a power trial today?

Maybe you need to see the electrodes. I'd show them all to you, but that would require you to see boobage and that's just not happening. This is a "family" site people and I have already told you about poop, right? That's enough for today, I think. Just know that there's about a dozen of them and they itch. A lot. Picture the computer below the belt. It's about the size of a 1985 cell phone and weighs about 8 pounds. It's awesome. It makes up for the 8 pounds I lost yesterday in the cleanse...yep, 8 pounds. Jeesh!
So, here's what I got to do all day yesterday. Like the new downstairs bathroom. It looks pretty huh? View from where I was. Cool picture wall, huh? I did take a picture of me in there too...glad I didn't share it with you? You should be.

And here's the new pretty knick nack table. That little sand/shell vase was the centerpiece from our wedding. I made them all. Aren't I crafty? Not.

And, here's the new tissue box and sink...check out the pretty vase on the sink. We found all those shells on the beach in Morro Bay at Christmas. All the pictures on the collage wall are from the same trip. Special, huh? I got to wax sentimental for a while during my "special" time in there.
Yeah, I was bored. There's only so much to do in the bathroom, you know.

And, here's Collin's opinion of having to play exclusively with Daddy for over 24 hours. This is his way of GIVE ME MY PACIFIER!!!!! Actually, he still calls it a "fower," which is way to cute for words.