Thursday, August 27, 2009

Back to Disneyland...Again!

Wednesday was Disneyland Annual Pass renewal (and upgrade!!!!!) day in the McClain house this week. It was also the day following the Detroit Tigers playing in Anaheim, which would be an insignificant fact, had Mommy not conned a friend of hers into taking her to the game. Ahhh, the joy of going out unfettered by a toddler and having a great old time screaming her fool head off and watching baseball. Fun. Not fun? Waking up early after that. Know what though? You can't resist getting up when this little fella is the one who pokes you, looking like this and says, "Mommy, come ON, it's time to go!" Seriously, Bryon knew what he was doing sending that kid in, didn't he? Like I could roll over and go back to sleep after this cutie-pie tugged on my sleeve. And you guys didn't even hear the little plead in his voice or see the little face. Ugh. Eh. I recovered. There were roller coasters to ride. That's right folks. Last time, Collin's little head just grazed the, 32" post, which meant he could safely ride; well, except when earthquakes prevent us from riding just as we're about to board. Stupid earthquakes. Anyway, this time, his head was waaaaaay past the post. How quickly they grow. So, we got in line where Collin promptly went all squinty-eyed in the sun. One of these days, he'll learn that sunglasses aren't just fun toys to pretend to wear. One of these days, I'm sure of it.

And, finally the moment of truth: boarding the first roller coaster. Did he like it? I'm not sure. He didn't cry. He didn't scream. He didn't laugh either. He made a face that was similar to shock but not so different from, "whoa this is kind of interesting." He hasn't talked about it, other than to say that it was fast. So, who knows? He was pretty darn excited about riding it though, huh?

I think the teacups may be his favorite though, especially now that he's finally figured out how to spin the center wheel. Yes, the center wheel, otherwise known as the vomiter, the thing I've refused to teach him, has been deduced. Damn. Oh well. He looks happy, right? He kept yelling, "This is fun! This is fun! This is fun!" You'll note who refuses to partake in the fun of the teacups. It isn't because he likes to take pictures; it's because he hurls. Still, we could throw the kid on every ride in the park, what do you think he likes best of all? Yeah, that's my boy. And, now we have zillions less blackout days than we did last year; so, who's coming to visit and when do you want to come to Disneyland with us?

Monday, August 24, 2009

At Least there's Laughter, Right?

When you come to the realization that strangers always stop to take a second, third or even eighteenth look at your kid, it's kind of like oh yeah, I know, I made that! When you realize that they are laughing at him, not with him, it's a little less of an enthusiastic reaction. See, we went to the zoo this weekend, which was by the way maybe not such a hot idea because it was wickedly blazing hot and I nearly melted. I kid you not.

Anyway, Collin got so excited at nearly every animal that he spotted that he would wiggle his way up to the fence and then shriek that animals name, while simultaneously doing something that resembles the pee pee dance in psycho speed. When he realized that Mommy and Daddy were standing back to allow other children to see said, mountain goat, prairie dog, lion, whatever, he'd realize that somehow we were deprived of the joyful glee he was experiencing and he'd clamber back to us, screaming, "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOUNTAIN GOAT! LOOOOOOOOK!" at which point he would yank me by the kneecaps to the fence, pull me down to his level and press my face through the bars until I displayed an equal amount of enthusiasm. Laughter was heard from the onlookers.

You'd think this was maybe only excitement to be felt at the coolest of animals, say the lion or maybe the monkeys. No. An anteater, anything really was pretty damn exciting to the kid. It was pretty cute though. Hilarity ensued.

Sweatiness as well. Like I said, I'm pretty sure that hell is cooler than it was at the zoo yesterday. Okay, I'm exaggerating; but only a little. I was pretty sure I was going to die. Collin, on the other hand chose to run at full speed from animal to animal and then promptly collapse in full, sweaty exhaustion in the car on the way home. He got his first pit stains, which was something I think I'll leave out of the baby book.

He says he appreciates that and would much rather be remembered for being adorable, like this, than being a sweatball, which he usually is.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Something's a Little Off Here...

Collin, my love, joy of my life, apple of my eye, dear, that is not, not, not a hat. Something is a little off with your selection of proper head fashion.

It is however, a funny, funny, funny picture. And you will thank me for having dozens of shots of you wearing this hilariously-themed box upon your noggin. I'm certain of that.

Also, something else is a little off with you "holding" Baby Ben. You were pretty sure that you were holding him. You insisted that you were doing it. You talked about it incessantly all day afterward. Yet, I'm pretty certain that you were not, in fact, holding him at all. It's something about the way that he's nearly the same size as you already. Hmmmm. Maybe, just maybe, he's sitting there all on his own and you are just kind of behind him. But, maybe just for your fragile little toddler ego, I'll not tell you that.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Slimy Green Beans

Collin discovered something today. Green beans are slimy. I like to think this was discovered in some new, interesting and educational way. Nope. It was discovered in the traditional, "nope, I'm not eating this," way.

He figured that rather than eating anything green that, "what's this! there's little BALLS in here!!!" he'd just dissect it and then reassemble it. Over and over and over again.

What can I say, he's weird; and the son of an engineer. You've got to figure out how all this stuff works, right mama?

Wait no, he's just weird. I mean look at this. Same meal, and just weird. Right?

The boys had some alone time this weekend too. Can you tell they had fun? They brewed some beer and had Shepard's pie and rocked it man-style. Bryon figures he has to wait for a meal that I won't be around to eat to make gross food; or, what I consider to be gross food. Yes, ground beef with mashed potatoes on top is considered gross in my book. Blech.

Mommy was all too happy to get her baby back. By baby, I of course, don't mean Bryon; I mean my lil' man who I cannot live without. Look at him!

Today, we were singing a duet of "Puff the Magic Dragon," me accompanied by some banging mini xylophone playing by Mr. Collin when he suddenly stopped and demanded that I do the same so he could say, abruptly, "Wait! Wait! Stop!," pause and then add, "Mama! Mama! I love you!"

I'm pretty sure he's buttering me up for something. Oh well, I don't care. I'll take the lovin' while I can get it. He'll be fifteen before I know it.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Mama had a Chill

Penelope the super-headache made a brief appearance yesterday. She knocked me flat for the entire day, which sucked because Bryon's hours mean that no, he cannot, cannot, cannot come home early, nope not even five minutes early, to help me out. So, I died, I think; at least for a short while. I'm better now; but it was touch and go. I think Collin watched more T.V. yesterday alone than in his entire life. I'm not even sure what I put on, it might've been porn. This is what my parenting is reduced to when I have a headache: Collin playing alone in his pajamas still at lunchtime.

Anyway, when I feel crappy, I look crappy in the wardrobe department. Today, I'm still feeling bummy and I threw on the same clothes as yesterday. What?! You all do it to! I changed my underwear, at least. Still, this included my humungo Nightmare Before Christmas sweatshirt because I felt a bit chilly. Collin has the same one and as soon as he saw me in mine, demanded to wear his as well.

Does he look adorable or what?

He knew how cute he looked, so he commenced actually posing for me. Yes, posing. He thinks he's a freaking model now. Poor kid.

He was saying things like, "I do this now!" and "take this picture!" Not only a model, but directing the photo shoot as well. I can't work under these conditions!

Whatever, I think the kid knows what he's doing. He took some pretty cute shots. The best part though, was when I put the camera away, he said, "Collin was good boy for pictures, Collin get candy with breakfast." Where does he come up with these things?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Holy Picture Overload, Batman!

So, when the family gets a new camera, what do you think happens? Well, first of all, lots more pictures get taken. Some good, cute, wholesome pictures.
Some, not so good. Why didn't anyone tell me that I was so tired and that I was prone to fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon with my BE-hind A-framed in midair like that? I look perfectly weird, do I not? Like maybe there was a little more than water in that sippy cup. Why am I even holding that?
Anyhoo, there's also a vast difference in the type of pictures that Mommy and Daddy take. Daddy, for example, will take dozens of pictures of flowers. Yes, flowers. These pictures will cause me to do what you saw in the picture above. Occasionally, he'll bother to scan over the view finder to see a more interesting subject scattered amongst the foliage.

Oh look, there he is.

Daddy doesn't take all bad pictures though. He managed to capture my favorite moment of the day. Collin's adopted a new habit of late, where he insists that I wrap him in the towel after he gets out of the bathtub, hold him like a baby and sing, "Hush little baby," to him. Yeah, I can live with that extension of the bed time routine for the next, say, thirty years so long as he lets me hold him like a baby on my lap.

I, however, am much more of an "action" capturer, I think. Check the dunking skills on my little man with his new basketball net. And yes, I did realize I'd put it together haphazardly after this and reassembled it before it came crashing down on him, paralyzing him for life before he had a chance to become the next white Michael Jordan. Wait, he's the son of two athletically challenged parents? Okay, let it fall on him, he can sue Little Tikes and become a millionaire that way.

Still, this is his, "that's what I'm talkin' 'bout face."

Of course, this is his, "shhh, don't bother me, I'm concentrating on lining my cars up on this narrow chair arm," face. It's likely to be followed by a meltdown because they'll fall off the edge; but it's cute anyhow.

No meltdown! No meltdown! I've succeeded! I've succeeded at my random task that makes no sense to anyone but me! Hooray! Hooray!

Oh, and guess who got the broken camera? Not even the ocean-broken camera but the LAST one before that? Yeah, I'm that good with cameras. Okay, to be fair; I didn't break the last one. It broke of it's own free will. Maybe it just gave up.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Not Sailing with Gramps

For a week now, a solid week, I've been telling Collin that Gramps is coming and when he does, he and Daddy are taking him sailing. He's been super excited about the prospect; thrilled you might say. He even got it in his head that he was going to catch fish. Somehow, the profuse amounts of vomiting that Bryon was doing put a wrench in those plans. This meant that Collin somehow had to make due with other activities.
Activities like good old fashioned, smushie, gushie, soft, chunky, chocolate chip cookies.

Blowing bubbles outside and wearing Gramps' hat like a darn fool.

And, of course, knowing that you look like a fool.

Making sure that the living room is safe from fires by driving his fire engine all over the darn place and ringing the bell lots and lots and greatly disturbing sleeping Daddy. And no, Grandpa, he still doesn't know how to use the pedals.

Using the ladders from said fire truck in wildly inappropriate ways to "climb" on the couches, coffee tables, chairs counters, any other surface higher than himself. He even tried to put them in midair and was confused as to why they didn't just hang there for him to climb to space. Huh? I'm not sure why that didn't work, Collin. Ask your father when he feels better.

Standing in a shack-type structure at the Fort Mac Museum. Oh, Daddy felt better by then and I didn't go with them. I don't go there. I would rather gouge my eyes out. B-O-R-I-N-G. I was busy shopping at The Grove and Farmer's Market. Mommy spent some money :) Giant J. Crew and even more giant Banana Republic with a big sale and Mommy was traumatized by vomit!

But, it looks fun for Collin right? I mean look, he got to see a jeep! And men like to look under cars, huh? And then, stand in more shacks. Apparently, this museum has Jeeps and shacks. I don't think I'm missing much, am I? But, they do have a nice view, eh? And a good spot for that long, running embrace hug that you see in the movies. But, the sweet close up snuggle is cute too.

Anyway, that's what Collin did this weekend when he was NOT sailing with Gramps and Daddy.

Plague Exposure

Yeah, so the fact that Daddy works 22 1/2 hours a day may perhaps be a perk of this new job. Why? Well, yesterday he came barrelling through the front door at ten a.m., pushed through the two of us on the stairwell, didn't bother to close the bathroom door and proceeded to vomit all over the place. He was pretty sure that he did a fairly neat job of it. He did not.

Alas, for anyone who knows me, this event would rank equivalent to an axe murderer coming into the house and threatening the livelihood of my family. I fear vomit in such extreme. AAAAAH! THE FLU! But, in retrospect, here's the thought; in the last three days, Bryon's been home for dinner, uhhh, nope. In fact, last night, this is when he got home....
Yep, five minutes before Collin's bedtime.

Cute, right?

So, I'm thinking it's possible, just possible Collin and I might survive this one unscathed. We'll see. But they are cute pictures anyway. I couldn't resist nearly filling the memory card. Oh, and I have so, so, so, so, so many more. So many more.

Don't worry, I won't post the seventy-five others. That would be overkill. Wait, is that possible?

I also won't post the picture of Bryon that I had the good sense to delete...the one where after he asked, what the hell I was doing taking a picture of him sick and feeling awful, he took it upon himself to pull his man-bits out of his shorts and thanks to the fast shutter on the new camera, I accidentally caught them. ACK! I couldn't smack him because the poor baby was sick. Oh, I didn't want to touch him. Gross, sicky germs. But, now that he's better, it's fair game. He's been properly beaten to a pulp now.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Gobble Monster on the Loose!

Did you know that Collin is capable of cannibalism? Well, he is. He is coming; and he is going to "gobble you up!" At least that's what he says he's doing. And, the appropriate attire for this attack is underwear and combat boots. Okay, sure mommy didn't put his pants back on after his nap; but he's the one who dolled the outfit up with the boots.