Dirty Collin

Maybe my mind is in the gutter lately because I've been doing a lot of focusing on my butt. But, as of late, Collin has developed some very distressing habits that I find to be on the naughty side...not the "time out" naughty side; but the Hugh Heffner naughty side of the street. Of course, he's 20 months old, so he doesn't know he's being naughty, per se, but still, it's hard not to chuckle, at least a little.

Low Bridge

One of his favorite games is spreading the legs of the nearest standing adult apart...WIDE apart and running underneath them. This game was discovered when Mr. Hottie pants was around. Don't ask me to explain the connection he made between running amok between his legs. It's just fact A that he likes the game and fact B that he also used those legs. Anyhoo, his head comes up to about crotch level to most adults, so he's obviously scalp dragging on most people's naughty bits. It's awkward to say the least. Enter "naughty" story of the day.

He loves, loves, loves hanging out in the bathroom when I shower. I figure if you are under two, you kind of don't need to worry about your kid seeing you naked, right? Anyway, apparently, we needed to play "Low Bridge" immediately after I took my towel off and BEFORE I put my underwear on. Go ahead and fill in the rest of the info for yourself. Suffice it to say, it involved a gentle hand on the head, some steering on Mommy's part, a box of legos, a little boy yelling "choo choo," and a Mommy trying to stand as high on her tiptoes as possible.

This is Collin playing "Low Bridge" with a much more unwilling particpant...Eddie.

Forking Socks

Collin's talking more. That's great. Fantastic. Wonderful. I'm over the moon. But, he's got a problem with a couple of words. Over the past few days, I've noticed a specific problem with "fork" and "socks." I'm pretty sure you can imagine for yourself what the problem with "fork" might be. It's not exactly intelligible as what you might think, but if misheard, yep, that's what it sounds like.

Socks on the other hand is "cocks." Every time, without fail, it's exactly, clear as a bell, just that. I have tried gently to correct it. But, I don't want to make a big deal out if it. Besides, I guess it is kind of funny. Every kid has their one word that's totally embarrassing, don't they? He's into labeling everything he sees that he can say right now, so if he sees anyone wearing "cocks," he makes sure to point them out right now too; so, we're definitely seeing a heck of a lot of "cocks" out in public and letting the whole world know, in a very excited tone that he sees them and likes them. I think it's a little early for us to know his preferences in "that" way, but still, what can I say, he likes his "cocks." Sorry, joke had to be made, didn't it? (I'm talking about tube socks, what are you guys thinking?)

Anyway, Collin is disturbing me today. And he's becoming a total gross boy too. After a three-minute snuggle-fest hug, which almost brought Mommy to tears, he burped in my face. Seriously. I put him in his crib, brought his face to mine, looked him in the eyes and said, "I love you, Peanut." He looked at me for a mini-second and then belched and giggled. Where do they learn this stuff? BOYS!

For good reason, I have no "good" pictures of Collin in his exploits today. I do have a picture of him watching "The Girls Next Door," and thinking, "I have to get me some of that." I told you, Hugh Heffner, right? Just kidding. I let him watch 20 min of Jungle Book this morning so I could sit on my butt pillow unmolested. For some reason, he HATES my butt pillow. He won't let me sit on it. He doesn't want to play with it or have anything to do with it; but he doesn't want me to have it either; so, I broke down and let him have some TV today. He thinks he won the butt lottery!