Death to Kitty

I love Homer. I love him so much that without question, I plunked down my credit card a few years back when he swallowed a doorstop and let the vet snip out a piece of his intestine so he'd survive, despite the fact that it cost $700 and he had to spend weeks recuperating in isolation in our room, pathetically having to be lifted into the litter box. I love him so much, that I put up with his stinky litter and I HATE smells.

Still, I've spent the past week hating him. We've used umpteen squirt bottles on him. He's sopping wet and doesn't care. Half the ornaments are on the ground. Yet, he still persists in camping out underneath the tree and swatting at the darn thing. He can't knock it over because after my first Christmas with him, when he actually did knock over a tree and bring me half of it by dragging it down the hallway, stuck inside the darn thing, we have secured it to the base with picture wire and eye hooks.

However, constant jingling of the ornaments and swatting of the branches is annoying and he shouldnt' be under there. We have Waterford ornaments for God's sake! They are VERY secure on the tippy top and wrapped on the branches so unbelievably tight, I think a bomb could go off and they'd stay. Still, I hate him under there. It's crazy.

Collin has been enlisted as the cat hunter too. He comes downstairs and the first thing he does these days is grab the squirt bottle and imitate Mommy. He chases Homer with it and shout: "Psst! Psst!" Apparently, this is a scary noise because Mommy has deemed it one. He can't actually operate the squirt bottle, but he's learned it's a weapon from Mommy, so he feels more powerful for holding it while pursuing the cat. What he hasn't learned, is that he should only be terrorizing poor Homie if he's actually UNDER the tree. Look at poor, innocent looking Homer. Does he look like he deserves to be terrorized for napping? Doesn't matter, GIANT baby is attacking!

"Whatsa matter Homer! Tired from all that tree attacking you've been doin'? Well, PST! PST! PST!"

So, poor Homer is being chased around the entire house with the squirt bottle and being Psst-ed for no reason. Try explaining that logic to a 20-month old. It's not going well. At the rate of his tree-camping, I figure Homer deserves this extra punishment. I keep locking him in the bathroom, which is also not going well, because he's taken to playing with the doorstop in there...$700 vet bill here we come!