One Man's Reward....

Collin and I are in the process of attempting "mini-outings" in underwear. Every time we go out for the day in pull-ups, he pees his pants like he's got a leaky hose. He's fine all day in underwear at home, even at the park. I think he thinks pull-ups are diapers and just can't figure them out. He'll pee in the potty too wherever we are, but in between those adventures to giant toilet land, he wets his pants like nobody's business and doesn't seem to care. My theory is that he needs to be in underwear, not pull-ups. Bryon disagrees and fears the public underwear monster as if it is as dangerous as leaving the house with the kid strapped to the roof of the car instead of the car seat. I say: trust the boy. Look, I did this morning...on the duvet!

With pee-making-liquid! AKA water. Or, in Collin-speak...waGer.

So, we went to Target today. Wheeee! If that's not livin' large, I don't know what is. We had to go potty twice in a forty minute trip. Once to check out the facilities because I told them they existed and lo and behold he wanted to see them five minutes later. Push as he might, no pee. Bummer. Then, he proceeded to act like a cart surfing monster in the store. I love being "that" parent who can't control her maniac in the store, don't you?

Alas, he pottied right before we left by announcing at a decibel I'm sure you all might've heard, "PEE PEE!!!" So, we re-visited said facilities and made some pee in the potty. Pretty great. Not so great was the fact that he announced his potty success to the cashier at an equal volume. It's kind of weird, don't you think? So, despite his craptacular attitude in the store, consisting of standing in the cart and throwing his truck on the floor, over and over and over again, I had to cave and get him the promised happy meal. Grrrrr. I hate promises.

And, since he got yet another garbage truck today, he was so stinking excited to gather up a handful of them, he begged to sleep with them. Rewards, rewards, rewards. What a stink pot. Do you think he'll get a good nap today? I think not. Whatever. That's why baby monitors have "off" switches, right? :)

At least there's some explanation as to what happens to his hair in the afternoons. Nap head starts pretty early in his sleep process with that hair.

Corn..and Other News

I hate corn. Really, I like corn. It's tasty. It's sweet and crunchy; both on the cob and off. It's buttery and salty and oh so yummy. Now, alas it's gross. Want to know why? Take a guess.

I don't think you need further explanation do you? What? Collin thinks it's funny!

In other news; know what's more terrifying that demonstrating how to wear a drum to your son? Not much. Basically because once the seemingly innocuous device is balanced on your body, he comes at you wielding the drumsticks of death at breakneck speed. AAAAAH!

Thankfully, he's decided that wearing his drum by the oh-so-wearable strap is not as much fun as peering through the other side.

In the aftermath of birthday fun, Collin has taken seconds away from his garbage men toys to play with...more garbage men. That's right, more presents arrived today from Grandpa and Nana Debby, to include another garbage man, which he clutched for most of the afternoon.

He did put it down long enough to go play outside in the playroom...with the rest of the garbage men. He decided that they were hungry of course and fixed them a delicious meal. Does this indicate a sickness of some kind? Seriously, look at this array of garbage men lined up waiting for their fixins.'

It's an obsession really; and, I've decided that it could be worse. I could be subjected to day after day of listening to Elmo songs or stupid Barney crap. Instead, I have to love the garbage man with the same fervor that he does. So, I can live with that. The only part that's no so fun is that we have to have "garbage" for the garbage men to put in their trucks, which is annoying. I hate not picking it up and actually throwing it away. I mean it is trash, after all.

Things Collin Learned at the Zoo

Collin's second favorite place on earth, after Disneyland of course, is the zoo. So, as his birthday celebration, we took him and Gracie, along with her parents and Baby Ben there today. It was an educational experience for Mr. Collin; starting with waiting out front for our friends to arrive.

Collin learned that despite his "girth" he still fits through narrow spaces...just barely, and with shouts of "help! Mama, help!" every inch of the way. You'd think after one try at this, he'd not make another attempt, but no, this is great fun to repeat.

He also learned that ants crawling on trees are most certainly viewed at the closest of range.

And, if you know our boy at all, you would most definitely know that he would re-learn that lunch is obviously the best part of any day outing to any place at all. Today's lunch: corn dog and chips. What could be better than a hot dog? A hot dog that's breaded and deep fried, that's what!A few more lunches like this and he will no longer fit through the aforementioned small space.

The family, including Collin, learned that when you bring other people to the zoo with you (including capable adults that can work a camera) you can actually get a family photo! That doesn't necessarily mean you'll get a good photo; not because they can't take good pictures, because they can; but, because someone (a-hem, Collin!) doesn't always cooperate by smiling. Still, it's nice to have all three of us in a shot together. This is us, coexisting in the same space. See, we were together! Not that you can tell we were all at the same place, considering Daddy and Collin appear to be dressed for weather that was all together different than what Mommy was dressed for. One of us is somehow programmed with a different thermostat than the others. Guess which one?

Collin also learned a bit about the art of sucking up. Can you guess what was going on here? Yep, there's some snuggling happening. What you don't know is why. He was pulling my necklace a bit too much and I told him if he didn't stop it, I was going to get him out of the goat line and we wouldn't' get to pet the goats. He didn't have to know it was an empty threat. So, instead of just stopping, he decided to hug me...a lot. I think he liked the first hug so much, he just kept doing it. Daddy was Johnny-on-the-spot with the camera and I didn't mind being on the receiving end of so much snuggles either. Collin learned that hugging does get you places with Mommy.....

Like, into the goat pen. The first time we went to the zoo, he was all about the goat pen. The second time, he was nervous. This time, he had learned that the goats were freaking awesome. He seriously ran from goat to goat, figuring that they ALL needed brushing.

The overall lesson of the zoo experience was that tonight, when we did our "talk about day" before bed, he assessed that we can't have a tiger at home because "tigers bite fingers," an idea he came up with all on his own, and that we "brush goats fun." So, I think he had a pretty good day and somehow learned something. I think that's overall a good thing.

Happy Birthday C-Man...Sorry Everyone Else!

Did you think I'd be able to put up just one, or maybe two pictures Pish-TAW! You crazy, crazy fools! Well, I've already gotten e-mails admonishing the slow speed at which I've posted pictures to begin with. So, alas, without further ado: the Collin birthday recap that I'm certain the world's been hanging on the edge of it's seat waiting for! Ta-daaaaa!

First off, Daddy was obviously going to be at work when Mr. Important B-Day Boy woke up and we had to wait for him to open presents (Daddy's rule, NOT impatient Mommy's rule, of course!). I wanted him to understand it was his birthday anyway, so I convinced Bryon to go to the grocery store last night after Collin was in bed and buy some balloons to put on his chair to surprise him. Problem: the florist section of the store is closed at night and you can get exactly one balloon because that's what's already blown up. Or, you can get the ones on a stick. So, that's what Collin got. He was pretty happy with it anyway. Me, I was happy Daddy ran this errand. Isn't that sweet of him?Besides, ladybug balloons on a stick make great stirrers of pee pee crackers. Collin describes all crackers, cookies and snack food with the adjective phrase "pee pee" these days, as that is what he is rewarded with, on occasion for successful potty trips (if he remembers to ask!).

Eventually, of course, Daddy did get home from that stupid place he has to go (work) and we were able to start the important part of the day: presents! We are crazy parents because we got Collin a drum! He loves it. I'm taking a break from icing my head as we speak, just to do this blog. You're welcome. Of course, he got awesome presents from everyone. It's so fun to watch him open them! I took a million pictures. Don't worry, I only will show you a dozen or so :) Like this one, of him sitting in a big boy chair. I can't get over how adorable he looks when he sits in a chair and his little feet dangle in the air. It's the only time he still looks like a baby to me, despite the fact that he's almost a man! He's two for crying out loud. TWO!!!For the most part though, he hung out on the floor and tore into the paper like a mad man!
I was so impressed with him though. Despite the haul of presents on the table left to open. He actually paused after each one to play with it and look at it, actually appreciate it, before tossing it aside for the next one. We even had to read the stories he got.

Then, of course, it was time for CAAAAAAKE! He talked about cake all day, despite my having hid it from his view in the oven. He was sure he had to blow out the candles, because in Collin's words, they are "very very hot!" So, he was pretty keen to do it.

Once the kids were hopped up on crack, I mean cake, they had a blast playing with one of the three (yes three!) giant garbage trucks Collin now owns. And no, that's not overkill with this kid. He could stand to have a hundred. And, they had a blast with the new bubble bucket he got. This is definitely the faces of happy kids. Having a playroom in the garage, where you don't care about soapy bubbles getting all over is pretty awesome.

But, alas birthday fun has to end sometime. Collin and Gracie were pretty sure that if they both got back into their chairs, it would all start back over again and no one would have to go home or to their respective beds. They were, of course, wrong. But, it was cute anyway and I applaud them for trying.

To top of Collin's birthday, we went to the mall today to get his pictures taken and to get another family portrait taken. It's been awhile so it was definitely time. He was so stinking cute watching the computer advertising in the waiting area, that I had to take a picture. He was pretty convinced that this was a movie and he had to be peeled away. I think he's a sucker for advertising. And no, that's not his hat. I'm just glad he didn't touch it. Weird, probably-lice-infested-abandoned-dirty-hat on the desk. Gross.

Tomorrow...the zoo! Collin can't stop talking about it. And, this time he gets to bring Gracie and Baby Ben; so, he's really excited.

Super "Star" Day

It's official. We had a day of ZERO, that's right, ZERO accidents. We've had a number of days in a row now with only one accident or little mini-drips here and there; but, today we had NO accidents, not even at nap. What's that mean to Collin? Well, it meant ice cream before bed. What's that mean to Mommy? That she's super-proud.

It meant that she caved before dinner too and let him have a snack, something she never does. And, she even went all Suzy Homemaker about it and used a cookie cutter to cut stars out of the peanut butter bread to show him what a star she thinks he is. He was so impressed with his "star snack" that he kept playing with it instead of eating it.

So, tomorrow is Collin's big day: his birthday! We are so excited to celebrate with him. Is there anything more adorable than asking a two-year old to show you how old they are by holding up their chubby little fingers? Collin just cannot seem to do it! Grandparents stay tuned; there will be plenty, plenty, plenty of photos!

By the way, we are getting his two-year-old professional photos taken this weekend and I'm crossing my fingers that he'll bust out that famous ham-and-cheese smile that I love so much (the one you see ALL the time here), squinty-eyes and all. Then, we'll see, maybe, just maybe, about a hair cut.

Personal Cheering Section

I always heard that it's pretty much a faux-pas to clap for yourself, regardless of the situation. Apparently, that bit of advice has gone out the window for Mr. Collin of late. At least for potty training anyway because he claps when even the slightest bit of pee finds its way into the potty, and I do mean the slightest bit of pee, like say a microscopic droplet. Still, it's standing ovation time when (that's right folks, I said when, not if!) he poops.

But, this round of applause is for stacking his bananas atop his toast this morning. If I'd known that that was an applause-worthy event, maybe I'd have stacked my breakfast too. Who knows what's worthy of applause when you are Collin. See, I do all kinds of things that I think are worthy of his applause, like raise him, but alas, no clapping. If only I'd known that stacking bananas was the ticket. Silly Mommy.

Back to "Normal"

No one in this family ever claimed to be normal. But, Aunt Robyn left us this morning, returning to Mississippi and that means our life has returned to "normal" (aka Roty-less). We miss her terribly. Collin's first words this morning were alas, not "MAMA!" or, "Love you, mama!" or, "Gee ma, thanks for all you do. It's so great that you are the first gal I see every morning and the one who cooks my breakfast, gets me dressed, takes me to the park and does my laundry every day. Heck, maybe I DO love you, after all!" NOOOOO, his first words were an indignant, "Aunt Roty!!!!" punctuated with a look like I'd hidden her from him.

Anyway, after my explanation that she's back in Mississippi with Icky (Uncle J), he seemed satisfied and promptly pooped in the potty. So, I think all is well in the house of McClain again. We passed a pretty normal day around here, until Daddy got home and he decided to become a crazy child. Daddy took him on errands and Bryon claims he became a terror-child in the store, touching EVERYTHING in sight.

I thought I'd share random pictures of what bedtime looks like. This is our kid, trying to escape getting dressed. Does every kid do this? We have to wrangle him from the corners, from the hall, from the light fixtures, any and everywhere. Then, we do stories and talk about our day.

You can also see why we are light years away from overnight pants, despite the pull ups (aka "special underwear"). Collin insists on downing an entire sippy cup of water immediately before bed. Apparently, he's a camel. And, don't even THINK of calling that a pull up. No siree, they are special underwear!

He's also getting his hair brushed by Daddy for a change instead of Mommy. Can you tell he looooves his hair? I'm thinking maybe we shouldn't cut it afterall. When it is all brushed out wet, it actually almost reaches his nose now. It's pretty sad. It takes so long to get all the tangles out though that he won't sit still and you have to actually pin him down. It feels a little like child abuse. Wait, maybe that isn't normal.

Something's "Fishy" With Aunt Robyn

Yeah, Aunt Robyn is leaving us tomorrow morning. Collin's been warned of this sad, sad fact. I'm not sure he's prepared for it though. Really, how can he be? He's had way, way too much fun these past few days. I mean, what little boy wouldn't be totally enthralled by his totally amazing Aunt Roty after this weekend? For starters, she bought him Nemo! Well, that's what Collin has decided to name his birthday present. What else would he have named him considering that he thinks ALL fish are named Nemo. And yes, we did FINALLY allow him to see the movie. He pretty much thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen, aside from the real fish, of course.

He loved the trip to the pet store! So many Nemos, so little time! When we brought one home with us, it was pretty exciting. We did have a minor meltdown over the fact that he couldn't actually "touch" the little guy, but hey, we got over it. Daddy had a minor meltdown too over the fact that Collin refuses to name him "Flushie." Daddy got over it too.

To top a trip to the pet store to get the kid a LIVE birthday present, she figured that she'd better make him really stick in his memory bank for a while by going to Disneyland with him. So, yeah we went to Mickey's house. You know how much he likes that hang out! He didn't want much to do with us there. He rode EVERY ride with Aunt Roty.

Well, except for the waiting in line bits...he didn't so much mind riding on Daddy's shoulders for parts of that. He kind of swapped in and out of everyone's arms for those parts. He even let Mommy in on the hugging action once in a while there. That was nice, for on occasion it was almost like he loved me again.

Of course, those brief feelings of loving Mommy were short lived throughout the day. I was allowed to join them on the teacups though. Truth be told, I'm really glad that he loves his family so much. He's so lucky to have so many people who love him this much. He was so darn happy all weekend. Daddy, of course, did not join us on the teacups because he barfs. Know what he was doing though? He snuck off to one of the shops to buy me a present! Are we a sick bunch of sweethearts in this family or what? Collin's weekend improved even MORE at dinner when he realized the cafe that we normally eat dinner at was serving mac and cheese instead of chicken! Can you believe that! Check out this kid's face! I have forgotten to mention, by the way, that he peed in the big boy potty, IN PUBLIC, at Disneyland twice! Mommy was grinning like this too! So, we had a fabulous time at Disneyland (who doesn't?!), riding the rides, eating the food, using the potty, and, hanging out with Aunt Robyn. Collin learned that riding rides with someone other than Mommy and Daddy just might be more fun that he thought it could be and Mommy learned that she misses him! Collin learned that peeing in a GIANT potty is really interesting because pee falls a looooong way! And, Robyn learned that Collin is pretty freaking cute all the time...and that he'll climb over all the railings in line. So, do you think he'll wake up tomorrow missing her when he realizes that she is gone already?

Collin's Career Aspirations...and Aunt Robyn

I know it's pretty soon to be putting high hopes on the little guy; but you know how I'm secretly pining away for the Air Force Academy and Bryon's hoping for anything ballet related so he can go to dance recitals. Still, Collin has let his true dreams out of the bag today. Plumber!

Okay, the real deal is that now that he's wearing underwear all the time, some of his pants are sagging in the seat. I have to be more careful about my wardrobe selection these days for the kid, I think. I need to make sure I select pants that don't let it all just hang on out there. What do you think? You could put a quarter in there!
Anyway, we made it through three days with only ONE pee accident. ONE! And, that includes nap time wetting. I am so proud of the guy I could pee my pants; but I won't because that would up our pee accident total in the household and that just wouldn't be cool. And, drum roll for this...He pooped in the potty again. Wahoo!!! Only once in those three days, but it counts, folks. It friggin' counts! When in you are in the potty training trenches, sopping poop out of itty-bitty underpants and picking it up off the floor as it drops out of those cute little underwear, one little bean in the potty when he claps is little hands in excitement erases all those other "accidents." Hooray! It happened this evening. So, we're all excited.

Even, Aunt Roty (Robyn), who got here this morning, is excited. She got to enjoy the full "experience" of Collin, which means she was dragged to his favorite spot...under the crib. Does this look like fun, or what? I think, she took the "or what" answer, especially when she realized I was taking a picture of her BE-hind, especially when she knows that any picture I take is pretty much fair game for this blog. Still, what a fun Aunt Roty for climbing under there with him and playing. That's why he wore his "My Aunt Rocks" T-shirt today to greet her...until he got poop on it. He's so happy to have her here that he's kind of forgotten about us and he's overly excited. He won't go to sleep and keeps asking for her. He, of course, wanted her to read all his bed time stories and he stood up mid-pee to make sure she was watching, thus peeing all over the bathroom. So, you could say he's pretty happy to have her around. I can't wait to see the effect she has on his enjoyment of Disneyland! Oh...and by the way...Daddy and Collin had an AMAZINGLY fun time while waiting for Aunt Robyn this morning. Can you tell? It seems like a side note, tagged on the end here; but it's not. I just had to mention it. I mean, look at this! Does this kid love his Daddy or what?