48 Hours of Misery...with Joy Sprinkles

Mommy has some tummy troubles...maybe serious tummy troubles, and Mommy's doctor wants her to take some unpleasant tests to figure out what's wrong with her. If Collin had to do this, she'd probably buy him a Lamborghini and a Porsche because she'd feel so sorry for what he'd have to go through, then she'd buy him a pony to keep in the trunk. Needless to say, these tests are unpleasant, and you need not be filled in on the gory details.

Daddy had take a day off work to take me to the "procedures," and thankfully Monday was a holiday, so he was already off to watch Collin while I did the prep for them. The prep consisted of starving myself (okay, the doctors call it fasting) for a whole day and then drinking a yummy (NOT) concoction that further ensured my entire system would be spic and span clean for the doctor to look at the following day. When I say yummy, I actually mean that it tasted like dirty salt water; not like ocean salt water, like salt water that has dead things floating in it.

Anyway, you'd think this was an all bad experience; but it wasn't. On fasting/starving day, I was technically allowed to eat two things: Jell-O and clear broth. Boy, you sure can fill up on those two things. Sense sarcasm? You should. But, I have the greatest husband on the planet because he pretty much bought out the store of the flavors of Jell-O I was allowed (no red or purple) and he actually made me jigglers too, and special ones at that: see below. Awwwwwww.

And, he took care of Collin once the preparation for my tests began. I anticipated the body cleanse to be an altogether unpleasant experience, but I didn't realize I wouldn't be able to leave the bathroom AT ALL. So, he hooked me up with my computer and some DVDs and a little nest and I was all set. Meanwhile, they hid yummy smelling food away from me downstairs and he even brought up the pictures later so I could see how much fun my son had enjoying his first enchilada. Cute, huh?

Mommy doesn't look like she's having nearly as much fun, does she? Hey, at least I'm still smiling...you should've seen me a few hours later, after the second dose of the salty-water-tasting concoction that kept me up half the night with visits to this lovely room. Nothing says fun, like lying on the bathroom floor, right?

The next day, after the "procedures," I slept. That's it. Slept. After not eating...oops...I mean fasting, for twenty-four hours, then not being allowed to even take a sip of water for twelve hours, then being cleaned out and dehydrated by the concoction, I was wiped out. Besides, I felt like someone had jammed stuff through my tummy and intestines...wait a second, they had! But, I got lots of visits from my favorite energy ball. He thought it was great fun to be able to jump on the big boy bed, and on Mommy's sore tummy. How can you feel sick with this kid around? That lump back there...that's me.

The end result is...more tests. I'm sure that I'll survive, especially with a Daddy that takes such good care of us. In the meantime, I'll just go back to eating my go-to sick food...grits and ginger ale. It always makes me feel better when I have a tummy ache. Yep, I know it's gross. Don't care.