What does TSA Stand For?

Tyrants with Snarly Attitudes?
Tiffy Snippy Apes?

Of course not! I know that TSA does a pretty important job. But, I also know that a family carrying a 19 month old child, and holding military I.D. cards as they pass through the metal detectors is probably NOT a threat; so, it's probably not necessary to give US of all people, a hard time. Still, that's what Mr. TSA in L.A. thought best to do yesterday.

It started with the car seat/stroller contraption that our super friend Kari let us borrow for the trip. This thing is awesome. It is designed for airports so it converts from a stroller to a car seat with one swift motion and it fits down the aisles of most planes. Anyway, Mr. TSA was a little perplexed at it and annoyed that it didn't "break down." What? Who ever heard of a car seat breaking down. I could almost hear him grrr-ing.

So, off to the side it went for manual inspection. He was then further annoyed that I had to carry my son through the detector. Then, Bryon had the wrong boarding pass...a mistake that should've been caught at the stand prior to this when it was stamped by Miss TSA who inspected it only moments before. But, I digress.

Anyway, he promptly, and in a raised voiced shooed him back from the metal detector and pretty much indicated that he was trying to board a flight to Bahrain with bombs in his shoes. Meanwhile, I've made it through after having set the darn thing off with my belt. So, I reach into the backpack, which has made it through the belt by now, and get the correct boarding pass and hand it over the wall to my poor hubby who's being detained.

Wrong choice! Mr. TSA yelled at me. Apparently, I'd been instructed via telepathy to hand him, and only him said boarding passes, not Bryon. So, I was told to go "STAND OVER THERE!" By now, I was pretty annoyed, barefoot and tired of holding my beast of a child and wondering if my car seat was cleared to set him down.

Mr. TSA #2 told me it was, but I was still pretty afraid of Mr. TSA #1's wrath so I waited until we were clear of the line to put him in. Alas, after Mr. TSA #1 sheepishly saw that Bryon's I.D. card was, in fact, a military I.D. and it did, in fact, match his boarding pass, he was a bit red in the face and he let us pass without further incident. Gee, you mean the innocent looking family with the baby and the diaper bag WASN'T a bunch of terrorists. I'm shocked! Shocked!

The rest of the day passed...eventfully! We had a two hour delay! Mr. Collin learned that escalators are super fun and that they are endless. Yep, that was an adventure that I think I could go on living forever. He also learned that throwing things really annoys Mommy. Sippy cups, his pacifier, his blankie, pretty much anything will do.

The plane rides themselves (both of them) were pretty uneventful. He LOVED kicking the chair in front of him...but he loved Mommy holding his feet still even less. I got the suggestion from Erin a little late for lollipops. I'll try that on the way home. He was all about crackers...and throwing them! He was pretty entertained with Skymiles magazine for a while too, until he tore it up and threw that and for some strange and inexplicable reason, ate it.

He also proved Mommy right. Daddy was certain that because we'd arrive in the middle of the night, surely he'd sleep in the car on the way to Aunt Robyn's. I said nope. I was right. So, today we've got a toddler running on less than six hours of sleep. Any bets on how long he lasts before he becomes a terrible monster that eats parents and grandparents alike?