Friday, September 12, 2008

Dada Duty

Bryon took the day off today to just hang with the family. It's all well and good and it's super special to have time with him other than the approximate 180 minutes of family time we get every day after work before Collin goes to bed. In those minutes, I'm always a little annoyed because I find that I'm still the primary parent, caregiver and worker.

As much as I look forward to the clock ticking to five p.m. every day, I find that by 5:05, it isn't all that much of a relief to have him home. It's awesome and I'm thrilled he's there; he's my best friend and Collin's favorite guy, but he doesn't give Collin his sippy cup without clearing it through me first if and he's not sure whether he should use shallots or onions in the sauce. So, while he's helping, he's not really HELPING as much as I'd like.

I think the mom parts of the family equations get what I'm saying. The Daddy's just don't do it the same way. Sure, if you're lucky enough to have the uber-helpful, super-on-the-spot kind of hubby like I do, who is always volunteering to help out and never wanting to make a mistake, you've got it made. They're always in the kitchen, helping your whip up dinner or they are in the cleaning cupboard digging out the vacuum because you mentioned seeing lint; or, they are trying to wrangle the kid because you said you had a headache. But, you know what? They just don't do it the SAME way as you do!

It took me until today to realize that's what annoyed me most of all. I thought it was that he wasn't doing enough; but it was that he wasn't me! Is that crazy or what? The guy doesn't sit down when he comes home, he doesn't turn on the T.V. or open the paper, he doesn't play Wii or even check e-mail. He asks if Collin needs to go for a walk or if I need veggies chopped. Sure, he'll do it; but does he do it over the sink so he doesn't have to wash the cutting board? Grrr!

We went to the mall today to get me a new suit for a conference. Dada watched Collin the whole time. He let him out of his stroller immediately and let him roam all over the store and chased him through racks of clothes, through the fitting rooms and up and down aisles. He let him scream a bit through pacifier withdrawal and through begging for crackers (our latest addiction...refusing to give in). He flipped him over his shoulders and found interesting things to point out to him: oh look a starfish painting in the hallway of Banana Republic! Would I have let the kid out of the stroller for even a millisecond? Nope. Did it work? Yep.

So, Dada does things differently. So Dada always gets out the measuring spoons for every recipe and I can throw pepper into a bowl without them. Big deal. Dada is a pretty cool guy to have around and he certainly means well. He has never failed us and the only thing he's ever asking for clarification on is how to please us more. What was I even complaining about in the first place?




3 comments:

I'm Erin. said...

Sweet post Rachel :) We have a Dada just like that...and I can't wait for him to get home!

Karen Parke said...

Rachel, Bryon will NEVER do things exactly like you do but he is completely involved in every aspect of taking care of Collin and taking care of you. He is such a great husband. You are a very lucky woman!

Trey and Mel's Piece of the Net! said...

That seems like a pretty good deal for you. I can't complain either, Trey was getting dinner the other night when I suddenly had to go take care of some "morning sickness issues" in the bathroom. When he realized I was no longer there, and heard the yacking, he brought me a glass of water and a facecloth without hesitation.