What Mommy Is Thankful For

I'm thankful that Granny and Granddaddy came to visit for the holiday weekend and relieved me of "sticker-face" duty for a few days. I'm so glad I invested in that sticker book.

I'm thankful that Granny took up Peter Pan's first bow and arrow lesson, because surely, nothing bad can come of this.

I'm also thankful that I seem to have animals with the appropriate instincts. Well, at least one. Way to go Homer on the getting the heck out of dodge bit. Eddie, dude, LEAVE! P.S. no animals were harmed (okay, maybe scared...but not harmed).

I'm thankful that Bryon made the turkey. Yep, those are wire snips. Not pictured: welding gloves. Ahh the accoutrements of fine cuisine. I'm thankful that all my yummy side dishes filled me up quite nicely since I think turkey, prepared in any fashion, tastes like socks.

I'm thankful that we have a fake tree and that Bryon lets me put it up the instant Thanksgiving is over.

I'm thankful that no one batted an eye about letting my son gobble Christmas cookies while doing it. Hey! It's Christmas and I wanted them too!

I'm thankful that my son is now old enough to help with the decorating. I'm not so thankful that there is currently one branch on the tree with approximately sixty-three ornaments that he insists should go precisely, and ONLY, there.

I'm thankful that it's the last week in November and we can go for walks at the nature preserve on the shore with sweatshirts on...at dusk. And, I'm thankful my kid looks so freaking happy doing it.
I'm thankful that when you put a sweatshirt on said kid that fit him six minutes ago (okay maybe a month ago), the first thought you have is, "sob, my baby is growing up so fast," then you think, "crap, I need a new sweatshirt." When, if that same thing happened to me, I'd think, "F$@*, I'm never eating again!" Amazing, isn't it? I guess I should try to be thankful for perspective but he's supposed to be growing, right?

While we're on the subject of that walk, I'm thankful for this. The sun set. Bask, if you will.

I can't let the weekend go without saying I'm thankful for living so close to a place that's so rockin' fun for my family: Disneyland. Yeah, yeah we went again today. I'm thankful for being able to stand in front of the gigantic tree AGAIN this year, and take the same picture we took last year and look at how much baby changed. Of course, I can't show you last year's because I only paid for it and didn't use my camera too so you'll just have to take my word for it: he changed.

I'm thankful that I don't barf on the teacups. Collin had the BEST time I've EVER seen him have on them today. He was laughing so hard he was sliding around on his seat because he was having a hard time holding himself up between the centrifugal force and his giggles. What could be better than that? Well, it would be better of barf-a-lot-Daddy were in the cup with us. I admit, shamefully, I may have pushed a bit to get a blue cup this time. Too many times we get a pink cup! Shhh, don't tell.

And, I'm thankful that I only had to stand in line for twenty minutes to let Collin meet Santa there today. He's still pretty convinced that Jack Skellington is the dude bringing the loot on Christmas (for all of you that don't know, that's the creepy guy on our sweatshirts above). Yeah, we've pretty much screwed up our kid...and I'm a little thankful for that too: who wants normal?

Busy, Busy and FUN Weekend!

'Tis the season right? That means 'tis the season for visits from what I shall call "make Mama chopped liver makers," otherwise known as grandparents. Collin loves when his grandparents come to see him because, heck, they are lots of fun. They allow him to do things like, perform imaginary surgery that involves balloon i.v. insertion. Weird. You might say that Collin has developed his imagination. This was his actual description of what he was doing. Not mine.

Grandparents also (well Gramps anyway) insist on train museums. Yes, train museums. Mommy was enthralled, entranced and thrilled.

Can you sense the sarcasm? Kidding. It was fun. Collin loved it. I'm not sure if you can tell. He's good at hiding his enthusiasm.
Grandparents also do things that we do not encourage, like teach him improper chair egress procedures. Hey, whatever. He didn't die and he hasn't tried it since.
We went to the beach and saw a dead seal washed ashore. Collin and I thought it was pretty cool. It is, isn't it? Oh, quit complaining, you can't even see it. Let alone smell it. I decided not to put up the cool pictures that included it, despite the prettiness of the background. You're welcome.

Gramps found the only cool shell worth taking home. Maybe it's because we were lounging and just basking in the view.

To be fair, Collin didn't "bask." He played. He thought most of the pebbles needed to be washed int he tiny puddles that were created in the larger rocks by the waves splashing atop them. It's a big job to wash ALL the pebbles on the beach. He was pretty busy.

Can it get more beautiful here? I'm pretty sure it can't. I think that they made this place just for Collin because he looks pretty awesome here, doesn't he? Cutest kid on the planet combined with the crashing waves. They just suit one another. I'm not biased or anything. Not at all. And, I'm not planning on moving. Ever. The people that they plan to give my house to when we get orders had better learn to like us because I'm not leaving.

Okay, so train museum, surgery, and beach. What next? Why not go to the zoo? Okay. Sounds like fun. We're like energizer bunnies. We can handle it. It was super fun. Collin saw a mandril and heard it make a crazy loud sound and he's not stopped talking about it since.

Alas, all this activity during Gramps' and Nana's visit wasn't enough for Bryon and I. We decided that after they left on Sunday morning, we'd take him to Disneyland for the afternoon. Yeah, we're nuts. But, it's Christmastime there now and I love the haunted mansion all decked out for Nightmare Before Christmas with Jack Skellington. Hmmm, I wonder where my kid gets his love for Jack. Anyway, have you ever seen a kid fall asleep on the way TO Disneyland?

Disneyland was PACKED! On a Sunday afternoon, we weren't really expecting that. Well, I guess it gets busier and busier the closer to the holidays you get. It was fun anyway. That's the beauty of the season pass. It's not disappointing to only do a few things and go home. I managed to sneak in a little holiday shopping for the little man, buying him a few treasures from Jack Skellington's little shop. That kid is crazy about that dude. I love having the kid who claps and screams, "I love Jack!" when we're in the mansion when there's always at least one kid who screams in terror next to us. Disneyland rocks. Even being in line is fun with our crazy kid, who now officially thinks Daddy is a weirdo. It was only a matter of time, of course. I wanted Daddy to take a picture of my boy and I in front of "Jack's" house this time. Can you tell how much Collin cooperated? Collin thought his lack of cooperation was hysterical. Anyway, that's our busy weekend. We're all ready to take a nap now, I think. Wait, no time! Time to prepare for Thanksgiving! Granny gets here this afternoon! We can't wait!

Crazy Collin

As some of you know, I went sky diving over the weekend. It was pretty awesome. I survived because my tandem instructor pulled the parachute after I managed to forget. Thanks Stu. Love ya, man. Anyway, Daddy was in charge of Collin so he figured why not let him be his own daredevil. Yep, that's my child with a bag on his head, walking directly into the kitchen table. I came home from falling 2,000 feet from the sky with nary a scratch on my body and my son was injured from a walk across the room. Nice one. Okay, it was only a tiny scratch, but still, the point stands. And, after seeing my video, which no one shall ever see because I look just that ugly, Collin has decided he wants to do it too. Maybe his bravery and induction into all things tomfoolery is influenced by his new favorite reading material: Calvin and Hobbes.

Homer, true to his nature, takes all Collin craziness in stride. I had to put this picture up for two reasons: one, I love my cat and he looks awfully cute sitting there; two, it precedes the picture to follow.
Nothing says "I love you" like a be-bucket-headed child "hugging" a cat. Homer looks pleased, no? Yeah, he wasn't. He departed his oh-so-comfortable perch on the beanbag chair mere seconds after this was taken. Trying to teach a loving child that cats don't like hugs as much as people do is a tough lesson.

Needless to say, bucket-hat lasted almost all night...even though bathroom visits. Not sure if he was proud of the poo or just happy to be there. We can discuss why I had the camera in the bathroom at a later time. Let's just focus on the lack of unmentionables visible in this photo and the cuteness of his smile.

Whole Lotta Update

Forgive me for not updating. I died. See. Worst picture of mommy ever (well, not as bad as the others I didn't show you). Collin couldn't resist snuggling up to me and despite the fact that I knew that was sealing my fate in that I would thus have to care for a sick kid in a few days, I couldn't resist allowing it. No, seriously of course I didn't die. However, briefly I thought I might prefer that state to whatever happened to me. I don't think it was the flu because it only lasted a few days, and truthfully the worst of it was only a day. But this was the worst cold EVER. EVER, people. EVER! I have quickly redistributed the germs to the rest of the family though and Daddy recently also died and because of his snuggles, Collin's showing signs of impending death. Not to fear, revival seems to happen within three days. Just like what's his face. Amazing, since we are such heathens around here.

Not to be satisfied with mere death-by-cold-germs, Collin is chasing the ol' death-by-suffocation. We have been getting Christmas presents delivered by the truckload around here (shoot me, I started shopping "early" while trapped on the couch). Collin "helped" me unpack some of them this morning. He learned all about how some packing peanuts are edible and degrade in water. Fascinating. Do you think that he'll be able to distinguish these from other non-edible ones without Mommy's help or do you think we'll be at the E.R. on day in our future?

He also "learned" about the copy shop this week and that sometimes Mommy has ideas that she sticks to despite them not being cost effective. She saw one of his little friends with a homemade sticker book with laminated pages of construction paper and thought it was a great idea. It is. Collin loves stickers and the laminated pages would make them reusable. Store bought sticker books are gay because they are covered in unicorns and rainbows. Collin is a boy. Enough said. Guess how much it costs to laminate a book of construction paper. $113! Is this face worth it? How about if I tell you that while I'm taking this picture, he's breaking rules. He is not allowed to play with doors. Simple rule in our house because some of our doors have locks (with no keys) and we have animals that can get "trapped" in rooms that he decides to randomly close them in. He is pretty obsessed with breaking this ONE rule. Not all the time, just when it's annoying. Gotta love it.

Collin's Punishment

Collin loves school. No, I mean he really looooves it. He loves it so much that I think he's beginning to love it a little more than he loves his parents. This issue may need to be addressed.

Last night, Bryon took him to Fort Mac to check out the conference facility for the commanders' conference next week. He was certain the doors would be unlocked and unarmed because he called our very competent security guards and was assured that they would be. Um, yeah. When he returned home, disgruntled, he was even more frustrated by the fact that Collin repeatedly said the following:

"Miss Fujardo could've gotten in. She can open ANY door." (A story Miss Fujardo found amusing this morning, of course)

So, Mr. Collin, here's your punishment.

You will one day not so much like that mommy has gads of pictures of you in the tub. This one is from two nights ago. Bask in the glory of your nakedness, my boy. BASK! (P.S. yes, that's bathtub paint back there, we are pretty fun, aren't we? Oh, and by "paint," of course I mean squirt it like ketchup and then ask for more) And Daddy, don't ever say that I'm not on your side.

In other news, we saw a lizard on our house. Cool, huh? Ignore the fact that Mommy looks like she needs to be hospitalized. We'd just gotten back from a training run for the half-marathon that I convinced Bryon to do with me. Collin was tired to. It takes a lot of energy to milk a sucker for an hour. Later, he told me, it was "yucky." Apparently yellow is not his favorite flavor. It will be the flavor I give him from now on when I want it to last longer than three seconds. Good to know.

Collin, meanwhile is still training for his first broken leg.

He's planning on using this tree here. It's hard to tell but it drops off sharply to a steep embankment of soft sand and then the abandoned weapons bunkers. He's figuring that's a good place for his first broken bone. I think so too. Still, he's got good balance. Maybe not. I stopped doing that suck-breath thing that parents do when their kids almost fall, long ago because this kid has suction cups in his fingers, so who knows?

A First: Say Cheese!

It was Collin's first picture day today. It wasn't a school day for him, but I had to take him there anyway for the photographer. Can you believe he's old enough for picture day at school? Oh my goodness!

He wanted to wear the sweater that goes with this shirt (thanks Granny!). I decided, eh, no, since it has reindeer on it and I thought maybe Christmas year 'round is a bit weird. I also decided that a child that is insistent on his wardrobe choices, so much so, that he knows that a shirt came with a sweater that he saw all of one time over a month ago, is clearly a child of mine.

He refused to sit nice for a pre-picture. That's my boy. He was a little nervous for the photographer at school but once he calmed down, I think they will turn out kind of nice in that "weird school picture kind of way." At least he wasn't crying hysterically like the kid they had to remove (in that kid's defence, he's also the kid that cried hysterically at the Halloween party when the cops came and pulled him aside...I'm intensely curious about this child). Anyway, I'm a little excited. Nothing says "school" like goofy brown/grey background!

But, we did "finger paint" when we got home with the color wonder stuff which made him happy and take a better picture. This is another first because the last time we used it, he freaked out about his fingers getting gooey; apparently, school has taught him, among other things, it's okay to get your hands dirty.

So far, he's learned his letters and some colors, all things I've tried endlessly to teach him but he refused to learn from me. Amazingly, when someone else tells him these things, they sink in immediately. Apparently, this is a lesson that I will have to learn to accept: parents know nothing, right?

Trick or Treat!

Before we get all ahead of ourselves and talk about the big trick or treat, we carved our pumpkin! That's right Daddy got home reasonably early finally! The ORI is over! Weeee! So, we got to see Daddy for dinnertime for the first time in two weeks. What better way to celebrate than with large knives?

No safety-serrated safety knives in this household. No sireee. We're all about letting our kid sit inches from the pumpkin and just hoping that we don't loose control of the knife and accidentally slice his face off.

Halloween morning started off with our little guy wondering why it wasn't time to go trick or treating yet. You could say that yes, he understood what Halloween was all about this year. In fact, he is wondering why he can't still be Peter Pan today.


He was, to say the least, slightly excited.


He RAN to every house. RAN for an hour and a half straight.

At thirty minutes, Daddy suggested that we go back home now, as if that was enough. Silly, Daddy!

And, in case Collin's not cute enough for you, look at Ben! Despite his vehement dislike for the hat portion of his costume, he looks awfully adorable as a puppy, doesn't he? He was quite the little trouper too. He put up with a lot of trick or treating for no candy.