Why I Will Hire Tutors

I went to "observe" Collin at school earlier this week. I braced myself for them to tell me that he's hyper. I know he's hyper. I've met him.

Guess what? He's hyper. 

We're working on it. We have some "strategies" and some plans and some other stuff to work on and all that.

What I wasn't prepared for was the fact that my kid is way smarter than I thought he was. See, I do workbooks at home with him because I ask him all kinds of questions all the time to sort of "test" his knowledge and see what he's picking up, because it's impossible to gauge his knowledge. He will persistently exhibit absolutely no knowledge of anything whatsoever, and then suddenly whip out random comprehension of something akin to say, the pythagorean theorem, indicating previous dishonesty of said incomprehension. So, I sort of try to do workbooks of letters, numbers, and all sorts of stuff with him to see what he's getting. 

I always fail. Why? He refuses, flat out refuses, to learn from me. It's literally like as soon as he can tell I'm trying to teach him, he can tell that something "educational" is coming out of my mouth and his brain shuts off. I've tried tricking him, by approaching the same information in "toy" format with play-doh, chalk, you name it. He figures it out at warp speed. The kid is a diabolical. 

Anyway, I assumed that all the writing work he was bringing home all year, was stuff he was tracing. I have often asked him to write for me at home. Of course, he tells me, "no." He tells me, "I don't know how." I figured the tracing was at least good for motor skills and it was good for him to see the letters and numbers and he was building a knowledge base, but heck he's almost four, he should be getting this stuff, right? 

The jig is up, child. I saw you. With my own eyes. Turns out, he WAS getting it. 

So of course, I made him do it again. 

 And pose for a picture. For posterity. Because it's nothing, if not documented.

Despite the fact that he's been doing this all stinking school year without my knowledge. 

So, thank you, child for reaffirming my failure as a parent. 

Apparently, I am incapable of teaching you anything. 

Oh, except lying.