A Solution?

Ever since Collin's epic anaesthesia meltdown which required two nurses, three doses of Demerol and forty-five minutes of restraint, he's had mini-flashback meltdowns every time he wakes up. Bryon is inclined to tell me that this is "just a phase." I'm inclined to say, uhhh, it started immediately after that horrid day and has happened every stinking time ever since. So, I think he's going through some sort of weird "I'm afraid to wake up" thing that has to stop. That, combined with the fact that as he sleeps, his mouth hangs open like a slack-jawed yokel and dries out his pulverized, hamburger throat, which of course, makes it even more sore. So, he wakes up screaming, sobbing and generally like a kid making this mommy even more certain she doesn't want any more children.

Anyway, in our more lucid moments, Collin and I have been chatting about why he cries inconsolably for anywhere from ten minutes to an hour upon waking both in the morning and after nap for oh, this past week. It's been a joy. He has yet to give me an answer. In between sobs, he hits me, pushes me, tells me to go away or, alternatively, wants a hug. It's all lovely behavior that makes me so proud of him. Clearly, all of this horrid behavior is tolerated in our house and hitting, pushing and kicking are the norm. Rationalizing with an out of control three year-old is awesome: "Collin, does Mommy EVER hit you?" (Collin then proceeds to shwack me in the face).

Yesterday, once he'd calmed down and after I'd removed everything from his room; and I do mean everything (think sheets, comforter, etc) that he could throw because he'd reduced himself to pure meltdown after about forty minutes, he said that maybe he'd feel better if, when I woke him up from now on, I greeted him with a snack. Yes folks, according to the king, I need to be greeting my child with food. Perhaps I should be investing in a silver tray with a little doily? I thought this a bit much but I'm willing to try anything at this point.

So, this morning, I brought Collin one cracker when I woke him up. ONE. I held it out in front of me as protection the way you might hold out mace in Central Park after dark. Anyway, when he immediately started his snarly face cries and flailing arm movements, he saw the cracker and, poof! It worked!

Apparently, low blood sugar? Or he just really, really likes food? I'm inclined to believe the latter. Anyone who's met my kid probably knows the latter to be true. Whatever. It worked. I don't like it. But, I'm rolling with it for now. We'll break it later.

Although, I'm not saying that after chewing up that bit of cracker, he didn't just roll back over and insist he needed more sleep. At least he was just "regular" grumpy and not "on crack" grumpy. I can deal with that.