The Decision to Feel Vindicated

I've had precisely three hours to process the fact that someone I've known for seventeen minutes has offered me the chance to use sharp instruments to slice into my child's adorable flesh whilst (I re-read Wuthering Heights this weekend, can you tell?) someone else has used powerful drugs to put him into a sleep that he could potentially never wake up from. Oh, and when they are done with that, they are going to hand me a groggy child that is in pain and say, "success," and I get to care for his grumpy butt for the next few days. I'm not dealing too well with this idea. So, instead, I'm deciding to feel vindicated.

See, I knew all along that something wasn't right. It isn't normal for a perfectly healthy kid who never so much as got the sniffles when everyone else did to suddenly come down with a cough that never went away. I knew it! Darn it! I knew-hew-hew it! There! Take that all you nay sayers that under your breath at least once, went, "Jeesh, what's with this mommy? Kids get coughs--yours is no different. He's fine!" Well, he wasn't all along. So there! I doubted a handful of times whether he was sick but at night when I'd see his sweaty little exhausted head so tired from trying to cough out whatever he couldn't get out, I knew in my heart something wasn't right. A mother knows.

Anyway, he needs surgery and thankfully, doesn't appear to have asthma. I'm almost wishing it was the opposite. More like neither, but it's got to be something for him to be better. The explanation is that somewhere along the line, he picked up a "silent" virus that settled behind his ears, in the Eustachian tubes and basically filled them to the brim with fluid.

Apparently, it didn't hurt him because he never complained. But, the pressure from that and the location makes him want to clear his throat a lot, which is why he is always coughing, especially at night. The constant coughing has aggravated his ENTIRE airway, down to the base of his lungs. Domino effect anyone? If you cough, nonstop for six months, your airway will look like crap, as his does. Throw in a little acid reflux, all caused by the coughing and you have a perfect storm of feeling like crap.

So, more medicine. Yes, more. Not different, more. He still needs to keep his airways open and the inflammation down and he needs antibiotics to prepare his body for surgery and to try to cure whatever infection was there. He needs something to help prevent him from any vomiting that might occur, although infrequent these days. And he needs an additional airway opener apparently.

What do I know? I didn't even know he had fluid. I wish I did! Maybe that's why he's always saying, "What did you say?" I guess he wasn't just trying to irritate me. Maybe his whole world sounds like we are talking through soup cans on a string. Poor baby!

So, the surgery will remove all the fluid from his Eustachian tubes and the adenoids that are too large for his little body that are adding undue pressure to the area. Oh, and since his tonsils are apparently gigundous (he can thank his ever-loving Mommy for that one), they are taking those too. Grandparents, remember the Mama-tonsillectomy right after Collin was born? We'll be saving Collin one of those nightmares by taking his now, I guess.

I'm just glad that when this is over, hopefully it will be better instead of throwing more and more bandaids at the symptoms instead of at the problem. Please be thinking of our baby and our family in the next few weeks. We are scared. Mommy is beside herself. Collin has no clue, of course! When we have our surgery date, we'll keep you posted. The scheduler is calling us back when she gets back from, "lunch." It's 2:30 here. It'll be in 4-6 weeks.