Despite Daddy favoring the more beautifully photographed family, Collin still likes him; so much so, that he precariously balanced himself on his little stool atop his rocking lego boat to watch him mow the lawn. You can't see that the stool was balanced on a lego boat, but trust me, it was. What you can see, is that Daddy was mowing the lawn...in the dark. Serves him right for making fun of my pictures! Let's see him take some for a change!
We recovered and regrouped from our picking-on from Daddy to resume our potty training today. Yeah, it's pretty clear that we're sticking to that regime. Hooray for Mommy's sanity...what's left of it. This is Collin settling in for his nine-millionth poop attempt of the morning. Yes, he's setting his toast down on the wipes. Could that be any more disgusting? I'm not sure which is worse, food in the bathroom in general or chewed-up toast on the pacifier? He announced, while eating breakfast that he had to poop and it was either fight the toast out of his hand and have a bathroom-related tantrum or let him take it with him...hmmmm...okay, fine, toast in the potty, just this once. And, after poop attempt nine-million and ten, I realized he was just saying he had to go for practice. He likes telling me poop and pee. When he actually has to go, he makes a move toward the room. Such a learning curve this whole thing is!
He helped me make the bed today too...a chore I would rather he leave himself out of while he's wearing big boy pants, as he is liable to spring a leak or unplug the poop dam at any minute. I've managed to keep my bed poop free for as long as I've had it and I'd like to keep it that way. Still, he insisted. He wrapped himself up in there and was too cute for words.
Then, I realized that he still had his pacifier in his mouth. We've reverted back to letting him have it outside the crib for when he's on the potty. He is such a pacifier-kid. He seems to really need that comfort when he's in the bathroom; so why the heck not? It helps. It slipped by me when he got off the potty and when I yanked it away, this happened....it's hard to care too much when he looks this cute when he's upset.
He decided to "help" more later with sweeping too. I wish I had pictures, but I don't. He broke a picture frame off the wall, which was decidedly less helpful; but, wielding a broom three times your size will do that sometimes. Still, hearing him say: "Collin help sweep. Collin help because Collin big boy," was priceless.
Anyway, apparently he knew he was bracing himself emotionally for a big day today: TWO, yes TWO poops in the potty and so far THREE pees in the potty, so he needed some blankie wrapping last night to prep for it. One blankie wouldn't do. No sir. He needed both blankies at the same time. This rendered him nearly immoble and caused Mommy to have to follow him around to fix the second one every nanosecond because it would NOT stay on. Whatever. He was happy.
And, for some reason, this request is not called, "Wrap blankie," which he's capable of saying since he can say both of those words. No, for some reason, he calls it, "Wadda blankie." Hmmm. I have no idea what "Wadda," is. You'd think that might be what he would call, "water," since it sounds so much like it. Nope on that too. He calls water, since he lives so close to Mexico and wants to combine heritages, "Wager," thus combining water and agua. I make no sense of the speaking habits of toddlers.
Anyway, he looked ridiculous and totally adorable. I hope this isn't a sign that he'll enjoy wearing evening gowns in his distant future. I probably don't help matters in this regard by encouraging his love for fine china. I mean look at how nice my table looks with all my cool dishes! I'm even getting Daddy in on it. He's the one who had to get dinner put together yesterday while I ran errands and HE'S the one who chose to use my dishes to make me smile. (yes, Collin's at the big boy table and not with his baby tray...finally...and NO he's not in a nice chair)
Oh, and this face? My only explanation for this joyous expression at bath time is that Collin must've known that only moments later, after he went off to la-la land, his Mommy and Daddy would be click-click-clicking away online buying him his birthday bounty. Yes, we can hardly believe it but the boy will be two in only a few short days! Practically driving age!!
Daddy was reluctant to let me get out the garbage truck that we hid away again after the last potty training fiasco. He never really missed it. I took it when he wasn't playing with it and figured it would have just as big of a punch when he started again. Daddy thought giving him a huge reward right before bed would backfire. But, I thought, poop in the potty on his own drive, BIG REWARD NECESSARY! Who cares if it's bedtime? Can you tell which parent is likely to give him candy after his teeth are already brushed? I'm a softie. Hey, I took it away too, didn't I? I'm not all mushy pudding center.
Yeah, you could say he was excited. He's called it his "special poo poo present all day." We're still trying to break him of calling all presents poo poo presents. It's a little embarrassing at birthday parties. But, he was so excited! Today, I cruelly took it away again. It sounds awful, but it was partially his idea so I went with it. He told me that "Manny for dry pants." He had an accident and so I took him with me to put Manny on a shelf and told him when he stays dry he can have him back. Don't worry, I didn't rub his nose in it or anything. We snuggled and talked about accidents being okay but that Manny is a special treat for staying dry and going poop and pee in the potty. Heck, I even let him have his pacifier, which is like gold to the kid. So, he keeps repeating "Manny back! Collin stay dry! Pee pee poo poo potty!" So, I think we may have a winner with this one. We'll see.
I miss diapers. Not that he's not doing remarkably well considering his age but diapers are easier. We're way relaxed this time around and he's doing awesome. One accident is nothing for a not even two-year old! But, the constant, "is it going to happen?" is AGGGGGHHHHHHH! I've stocked up on Resovle and learned to kind of "not care" about him playing on the furniture despite his ticking time bomb-ness. Although, I do freak if he climbs on the bed because you know what, I do NOT want to wash the duvet. Ugh. And yes, I still make him get off my kitchen chairs. I can be crazy about one thing. That's allowed.
P.S. Happy St. Patrick's Day! Collin's wearing green; so, no pinching! 
Then, I realized what I was taking a shot of. Yeah, what do you think he's doing here? I realized just a moment too late to get in on the action and get it in the potty. Oh well. Damage done. And he's now scarred for life. What is with kids and poop? I love the kid though. He's so darn funny. He just wants to do it so badly.
But, he found a way to annoy Daddy today too. Daddy and Collin went on a walk and heard the fog horn. I was out shopping. Apparently, Daddy explained that the fog horns beep. Well, Collin then stood on the corner and would not be moved for five minutes solid, where he repeated, "fog horn, beep!" Then, when he got home, he stood at the window, shouting the same, endlessly for ten minutes. I got a taste of it all evening as well. Conversations went something like this. 
What did you expect? A wedding picture? A glowing post-birth picture? Pishtaw! Since you can't tell who it is, I feel okay posting it. Heck, you can't even tell it's me...IT IS!!!! I had a meanie of a boss who HATED me. We had a fundraiser to get to throw pies at faces and since everyone knew what a (you can fill in the expletive) this guy was to me, they bought me a pie. Throwing a pie at this guy was the single greatest stress-relieving moment of my life. The applause generated from rubbing the whipped cream on that head was awesome. Ahhhh, I can hear it now. Okay, I'm ready for more potty training.
For the most part, I have bad timing...in everything. For example, I had to go to the DMV today to get a CA driver's license. On the way, I was in a slow patch of street traffic, not exactly a rarity in our part (or ANY part of California at 8 a.m.). Where my little safe cocoon of a car came to a stop, I got to peer out my window at a lovely park, where a nice man chose to exit to the sidewalk and promptly pull his business out of his pants, fondle himself for a minute or so and the pee on the light post. AAAAAH! It was like a car wreck, I couldn't look away. I did manage to look at the ground and not AT "him." I just had to be sure of what I was seeing. Was it, in fact, pee? Yes. Yes, it was. See, timing! Had I left three seconds earlier, I'd have been the car in front of me, and not been able to see this lovely image. Oh, and by the way, he didn't look homeless or indigent. So, riddle me this...what's the guy doing peeing in a park...or rather, leaving the park to pee on the sidewalk?
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