A Promise....

So, Collin started gymnastics...TWO weeks ago...

He started school...THREE weeks ago....

He had an EPIC and I do mean EPIC light saber battle with Paige and Austin, TWO weeks ago...

We have been to Disneyland to see Jack Skellington's arrival for the Halloween and Christmas season...

We've been without water for a number of days and have some pictures of that...

Among other things...(all of these things exist in typical adorable photographic evidence that you, poor family are being deprived of because I'm too busy).

I just wanted to let you know that I'm on it. I promise. I'll get to it. In the five minutes between homework, I have been choosing either to eat, or pee. Only one or the other. Some days I'm hungry. Some days, I dance around a lot.

This weekend promises to be the crux of it until a few weeks from now when it all rains again with another flood of projects. But, I will update. I swear. I swear.

I have two papers and a project all at the same time. Still, the parents are all coming to celebrate Bryon's promotion. Hip, hip horray for Daddy. So, you will see more belated pictures of that, I'm sure. I'm just excited to wear my new dress.

So, promise more to come soon! Just a reminder that we are still alive.

By the way, did you know that I hate philosophy? I think that anyone who makes a living out of thinking is a butthead.

Super Special Secret Surprise Day

Have you heard of "Walking With the Dinosaurs?" If you haven't and if it comes to your town, buy tickets. It was the coolest thing we've seen in a long time. It wasn't cheap, but it was worth the money. We didn't tell Collin what we were doing until we got inside and he was thrilled when he saw dinosaurs on posters inside. The look on his face alone was worth the price of the ticket.

Despite making Collin smile for a picture, he did love it.

It's hard to get good pictures to show you because The Staples Center doesn't let you bring in a zoom lens and there's no flash allowed during the show, but the dinosaurs move and walk and roar and are life-sized and they sort of fight. It's pretty cool.

Collin wasn't in love with the t-rex, as she was extremely loud. He jumped a few times when she roared but overall he still thought she was impressive.

The brachiosaurs (I'm too lazy to look up how to spell that) grazed the ceiling, they were so tall. Take your kids if it comes to your town! It was so worth the ticket price!!

And I love silly pictures of Collin refusing to pose for Daddy.

Learn Something New Every Day

So, Collin and I were waiting at the playground at Friendship Park the other day....

And waiting....

And waiting....

And waiting....

For once, we were on time to meet Kari and Gracie and Ben. See, I'm usually the late one, or at least the one that's on time and not early.

So, we waited and waited and waited. In fact, I was actually early. Meanwhile, I took some pictures. Like this adorable one.

Finally, I called Kari, fearing she was hit by a car, abducted by aliens or just decided she didn't like me anymore and didn't want to be my friend and couldn't bear to tell me. No answer. Aliens.

So we waited.....

Finally, she called and said she was at the playground. Where were we. Uh, at the playground. Then, she had the audacity to claim that this was impossible because she didn't see us.

So, did you know that there are TWO playgrounds at Friendship Park!

The playground Kari was at is so much better than the playground we were at. And that is why I'm glad to have friends. And I'm glad to have friends that don't get abducted by aliens or get hit by cars.

Oh, and Collin is glad to have friends too. He's going to miss little Miss Gracie who starts kindergarten today. Big girl grew up today!!

My Friday Night Was Cooler Than Yours

Living in California has its perks: the ocean, the weather, the all-around awesomeness. Let's face it, I never, ever complain about living here and I pretty much want to smack those who do in the forehead and shake them around a little and then say, "You want to go back home to where?! OHIO?! NEBRASKA!? Are you mad, man!? Mad!? You are in California!?" Anyway, I like it here.

On Friday, Kelly Spear found this cool event to go to that we initially thought was just some cool fashion show involving Antropologie, one of our favorite stores. It turned out to be a major event involving all of Rodeo Drive, called Fashion Night Out. Umm, can you say super cool fun?

When you live somewhere cool like California, you simply have to take advantage of going to something like this and pretending you belong at a fashion show, right? So, we got all dressed up and laughed at the fact that we totally don't feel comfortable with ourselves when we look "trendy" because we never feel like we pull it off. Then we walked around a store where our names were on a list to get in. A list!!

They had people walking around with trays of Ruth's Chris Steakhouse burgers, Ahi Tuna on toast, and some sort of chicken skewer things. Oh, did I mention the champagne? We even got goodie bags, and they weren't paper! Nor, did they include any sort of noisemaker or children's toy. They were denim tote bags that had stuff worth keeping in them! We got a t-shirt and nail polish and a wallet! For free! I want to hang out in Beverly Hills all the time and pretend I belong there. Quoth Rivers Cuomo: Beverly Hills, that's where I wanna be.

Then, there was the fashion show.

Look! An old, model. And a short one. And a fat one. Well, fat-ish. Apparently, they liked to put all their "bad" qualities in one gal.

In front of us at the Anthropologie Fashion show was this lady. I'm not sure where she got her hat, but I am sure that when I'm old, I want to be just like her. She's the best. I also want Bryon to be just like her man, not giving a damn that his woman is wack-a-doodle and holding her purse. If truth be told, Kelly and I may have strategically positioned ourselves just so we could take a picture of this crazy lady in such a way that it looked like we were taking pictures of the fashion show.

The rest of Rodeo Drive was sort of like free bar-hopping. All the stores were giving out free drinks, from mixed cocktails to champagne, and not the cheap crappy stuff, good stuff. It was amazing.

Jen, Coach had an artist hand-painting tote bags to order right on the spot as a one-night-only gig and they were spectacular. The shocking part was the spoiled little fifteen-year-old rich girls in line to get one. I was imagining these expensive bags strewn on their floor next to their Prada bags, meanwhile I can't afford one but would've really liked to. Stupid girls.

You could ride the Ferris Wheel that they set up outside Tiffany and Co. for one night only with a proof of purchase for free. Kelly and I skipped it, as we dubbed it the Ferris Wheel of Death because it went about twenty times as fast as a typical Ferris wheel and it looked a little sketchy.

Of course, what you really want to know is did we see famous people? Why, of course! This my friends, is Larry King. I spotted him with my famous-people radar. Then, I chickened out in my chasing him for a picture and this is the back of his head because I didn't want to push people to get the front of his head. Just take my word for it, that's him. Had he been someone more exciting, someone better looking, or someone I cared about slightly more than an old crusty dude, maybe I would've been braver.

This is Kelly Osborne. Isn't this a better picture? By the way, she is beautiful and she looks fantastic.
Apparently, this gal is famous too and her "handler" told us her name. Darn it if I remember who she is. Sorry skinny chick, guess you aren't famous enough for me.

This gal is apparently famous as well. Maybe she's famous for having legs that are smaller than my forearm. Yes, my forearm. That is small. I think she might die. We were maybe four feet away from her and the only words I could make out her saying were, "I'm small....Lindsay Lohan." She, by the way, is not beautiful in person, and does not look fantastic.
This guy was right behind us and I was terrified. Kelly thinks he might be the interior decorator on the Anna Nicole Smith show. I've seen about ten minutes of that show and even if he isn't, he should be infamous.

This guy, well I don't know what to say other than he's got some strange ideas about jackets. Dreamy. I like that not only is it a lovely print, it is shiny too. You just don't find something like that off the rack, it has got to be a jacket of his own special design. He is workin' it people. Workin' it.

And look! Darth Vader! Too bad Collin wasn't there. Maybe the Dark Side of Rodeo Drive is being caught wearing knock-offs, or like Kelly and I, actually wearing cheap clothes and posing like you belong. It's vintage! It's vintage!

Did you know Mercedes makes a Delorian? The model in the white, if you held your finger up and did the whole squint thing, she actually disappeared. It was really weird.

But, I'm pretty sure one of the weirdest things I saw all night was this. What was this supposed to be exactly? I don't get the "art" statement.

Birthday Fun

Daddy took lots of pictures of Collin having a blast at Bobby and Hugh's birthday party this weekend. My head just wouldn't have it for me to stay too long. I was pretty bummed.

I love the look on Collin's face at the top of the bouncy castle slide, as if he's never been up there before. It cracks me up. Meanwhile, I saw him scaling it from every angle possible and had to counsel him on not scaling it in reverse while other children were coming down as it was perhaps, a teensy bit dangerous. Feet plus heads equals black eye.

Ahhh, that's the King of the Mountain Collin that I know. The bouncy castle was actually a water slide but it was so cold that they just left the pool empty so it was a slightly harder landing than anticipated but the kids didn't care. Does Collin look like he minds? Dude, I don't think I'd go down the slide. I think the landing would be a little rough. But, that's just me, with my old bones. Let the kids hit the ground with nothing between them but a piece of rubber.

My favorite pictures of the day though are of him and Gracie off in the playhouse together just quietly doing whatever it is they do when they are getting along. They have grown into little siblings. One minute they are fine and the next he's made her cry because he looked at her cross-eyed or she's taken the purple car and he wishes more than anything he had a purple car like hers, oh Mommy why don't you love me as much as Kari loves Gracie. But when they are at peace, it's so sweet. I just wonder what little giggle she was having.

Bryon did a good job with these pictures. They both look so cute. I'm glad I didn't see it if they fought two seconds later!
Who knows, maybe they both wanted whatever that blue thing is! What a wonderful thing pictures are. I've decided they look cute and happy together, so they are.

What Do You Think Collin Likes Best?

Every time I upload pictures, I find that I have an inordinate number of shots of this child with a beverage in his hand, or some sort of food product.

My favorite shots of him at a birthday party, are when all the other kids have run off to play, because, heck, it's fun to play, and my kid is sitting at a table, all alone, eating. Still, eating. Forever eating.

It isn't that he isn't cute when he eats his birthday cake. He's downright adorable. But come on kid. Go play!

Of course, my meaty sweatball, was playing, and playing hard, to get that sweaty for that SnowCone. He sat on my lap for thirty minutes eating that thing; and staring off at the picnic tables eyeing the bowls of chips, begging and pleading with me for them. It's no use. I have an eating machine.

Who Says Black Cats are Unlucky?

Rachel: Don't be mad
Bryon: Now, I'm already mad.
Rachel: I said don't be mad.
Bryon: What did you do?
Rachel: I wasn't thinking. It was instinct. Try to think of it as a good quality, my sweet nature, my loving heart, my willingness to help those in need.
Bryon: Oh god.
Rachel: I let the cat in.
Bryon: Go let it out. Now. We're not keeping it.
Rachel: No.
Bryon: Now.
Rachel: I already love it.


Thus the beginning of our relationship with Azriel.

She's a stray that's been wandering our neighborhood oh these past four months. I fed her for a few weeks, then felt guilty about it and stopped because, well, she was obnoxious and felt like the neighbors shouldn't have to hear her howling.

Well, yesterday she came back after about a month long hiatus. She was so sad, so lonely, so tiny, so meek, so hungry. Oh, woe is Azriel. Yes, you should never name a stray cat. Because you know what happens if you name a stray cat? She's your cat.


So, I let her in. Rephrase: I dragged her in. I put her in the bathroom and quarantined her away from the other animals, lest she be be-plagued with some weird disease that she could infect my pets with, until she could be seen by a vet. Rephrase: until a vet could charge us to tell us that she's perfectly fine.

She took this imprisonment with the usual attitude of a cat. She hid behind the toilet. After an hour or so, she came out and expressed equal amounts of love for my legs, arms, hands and cabinetry in the bathroom. She rubbed on everything in sight and fell about in seizures of rolling and that weird kneading thing that cats do. She was positively in love with the house. Oh, how could we put her back outside in that cruel, cruel world?

Especially upon the vet's kind news that she was already spayed, hip-hip-hooray! That means we don't have to pay the extra money to do that! Bryon was pleased. I was pleased that the prior owner, who did, in fact, have her chipped, was willing to relinquish her to me (Bryon, not so much). Oh, Azriel, I was happy to keep you.........


Until you crapped on my counter. Then all over the house, in projectile fashion. Bloody, projectile fashion. Oh, did I mention the vomit? The vomit that was actually poop coming out of her mouth. Yes folks, bloody cat poop, coming out of her mouth. Not so cute anymore.

Yes, folks, Azriel, in her first two days in our house managed to rack up three vet visits, two of them at the emergency, after hours vet. Apparently, she had what the vet can only guess at. She either reacted to the vaccine, or had something that one of the vaccines was vaccinating against and her body was thus, expelling it. Yummy.


Oh, and by the way, on the second trip to the emergency, after hours, not so cheap veterinary clinic, I hit a tree in the parking lot with the car. I tore the mirror off the car and scratched the crap-ola out of the car. Did you know that busy pine trees have branches, BRANCHES!! in them?



Rachel: Don't be mad. (crying this time) Please. Please. I love you.
Bryon: (silence)
Rachel: Please
Bryon: What now. The cat?
Rachel: I hit a tree.
Bryon: What?
Rachel: I don't know how to get home.
Bryon: Bungee cord it to the car.


And that my friends, is why I married an engineer.


P.S. He's not mad. And Azriel is doing fine. She's not a big fan of Eddie just yet; but she's pretty sweet.