My Friday Night Was Cooler Than Yours

Living in California has its perks: the ocean, the weather, the all-around awesomeness. Let's face it, I never, ever complain about living here and I pretty much want to smack those who do in the forehead and shake them around a little and then say, "You want to go back home to where?! OHIO?! NEBRASKA!? Are you mad, man!? Mad!? You are in California!?" Anyway, I like it here.

On Friday, Kelly Spear found this cool event to go to that we initially thought was just some cool fashion show involving Antropologie, one of our favorite stores. It turned out to be a major event involving all of Rodeo Drive, called Fashion Night Out. Umm, can you say super cool fun?

When you live somewhere cool like California, you simply have to take advantage of going to something like this and pretending you belong at a fashion show, right? So, we got all dressed up and laughed at the fact that we totally don't feel comfortable with ourselves when we look "trendy" because we never feel like we pull it off. Then we walked around a store where our names were on a list to get in. A list!!

They had people walking around with trays of Ruth's Chris Steakhouse burgers, Ahi Tuna on toast, and some sort of chicken skewer things. Oh, did I mention the champagne? We even got goodie bags, and they weren't paper! Nor, did they include any sort of noisemaker or children's toy. They were denim tote bags that had stuff worth keeping in them! We got a t-shirt and nail polish and a wallet! For free! I want to hang out in Beverly Hills all the time and pretend I belong there. Quoth Rivers Cuomo: Beverly Hills, that's where I wanna be.

Then, there was the fashion show.

Look! An old, model. And a short one. And a fat one. Well, fat-ish. Apparently, they liked to put all their "bad" qualities in one gal.

In front of us at the Anthropologie Fashion show was this lady. I'm not sure where she got her hat, but I am sure that when I'm old, I want to be just like her. She's the best. I also want Bryon to be just like her man, not giving a damn that his woman is wack-a-doodle and holding her purse. If truth be told, Kelly and I may have strategically positioned ourselves just so we could take a picture of this crazy lady in such a way that it looked like we were taking pictures of the fashion show.

The rest of Rodeo Drive was sort of like free bar-hopping. All the stores were giving out free drinks, from mixed cocktails to champagne, and not the cheap crappy stuff, good stuff. It was amazing.

Jen, Coach had an artist hand-painting tote bags to order right on the spot as a one-night-only gig and they were spectacular. The shocking part was the spoiled little fifteen-year-old rich girls in line to get one. I was imagining these expensive bags strewn on their floor next to their Prada bags, meanwhile I can't afford one but would've really liked to. Stupid girls.

You could ride the Ferris Wheel that they set up outside Tiffany and Co. for one night only with a proof of purchase for free. Kelly and I skipped it, as we dubbed it the Ferris Wheel of Death because it went about twenty times as fast as a typical Ferris wheel and it looked a little sketchy.

Of course, what you really want to know is did we see famous people? Why, of course! This my friends, is Larry King. I spotted him with my famous-people radar. Then, I chickened out in my chasing him for a picture and this is the back of his head because I didn't want to push people to get the front of his head. Just take my word for it, that's him. Had he been someone more exciting, someone better looking, or someone I cared about slightly more than an old crusty dude, maybe I would've been braver.

This is Kelly Osborne. Isn't this a better picture? By the way, she is beautiful and she looks fantastic.
Apparently, this gal is famous too and her "handler" told us her name. Darn it if I remember who she is. Sorry skinny chick, guess you aren't famous enough for me.

This gal is apparently famous as well. Maybe she's famous for having legs that are smaller than my forearm. Yes, my forearm. That is small. I think she might die. We were maybe four feet away from her and the only words I could make out her saying were, "I'm small....Lindsay Lohan." She, by the way, is not beautiful in person, and does not look fantastic.
This guy was right behind us and I was terrified. Kelly thinks he might be the interior decorator on the Anna Nicole Smith show. I've seen about ten minutes of that show and even if he isn't, he should be infamous.

This guy, well I don't know what to say other than he's got some strange ideas about jackets. Dreamy. I like that not only is it a lovely print, it is shiny too. You just don't find something like that off the rack, it has got to be a jacket of his own special design. He is workin' it people. Workin' it.

And look! Darth Vader! Too bad Collin wasn't there. Maybe the Dark Side of Rodeo Drive is being caught wearing knock-offs, or like Kelly and I, actually wearing cheap clothes and posing like you belong. It's vintage! It's vintage!

Did you know Mercedes makes a Delorian? The model in the white, if you held your finger up and did the whole squint thing, she actually disappeared. It was really weird.

But, I'm pretty sure one of the weirdest things I saw all night was this. What was this supposed to be exactly? I don't get the "art" statement.