Santa Clara and Sailing

One of the things I have get to do, as a graduate student, who is a PhD hopeful, is submit abstracts to large conferences, in the hopes that they will think my paper sounds interesting enough for me to read aloud, in front of large groups of people. The Medieval Association of the Pacific accepted just such an abstract of mine a few months back, and I got to travel to Santa Clara to deliver a paper on why representations of Beowulf in modern film make the hero appear weaker than the Anglo Saxon original, due to feminist overtones. Sounds thrilling, right?

Well, to me, it is. Plus, I get to listen to all sorts of other cool papers. I was most excited about a paleographic study that a really interesting professor delivered about the Auchinleck Manuscript. I have particular interest in this manuscript because I write a lot about a story called The King of Tars, which survives only in two manuscripts, one of them being the Auchinleck. The Auchinleck is really important to my world. When I tried to explain the paper to Bryon, or even a small summary of it, his eyes glazed over, so don't worry, I won't bore you with it.

Anyway, while I was away, Bryon sent me a picture of what he and my precious child were up to.

I was not excited about it.

The last time (and only time) that we'd decided to take Collin sailing, he was a little bit shy of two. It was terrible. The beginning of the trip went smoothly, but I think Collin was a little too young to sail. He got bored quickly and once the decision to go back is made, you still have to, you know, go back.

He was pretty good, and stayed still, but the wind picked up and Bryon needed my help to control the boat and I couldn't focus 100% on the boy, who I kept envisioning falling off the side and bobbing helplessly in the ocean. He had a life jacket, of course. So, we put him in the little cabin, where he promptly decided that he was terrified to be separated from me in such an enclosed, strange environment. He cried hysterically, and reached for me frantically, but couldn't get to me and I couldn't pick him up until the boat was under control. It was one of the worst few moments I can recall because the idea of not helping my child, when he needs me, is devastating.

Anyway, Bryon didn't pressure me to take him out on the boat again after that. We were both content to wait until he got older and was certain to not fall off the side. He's surely old enough now and I would be much more at ease. I still, truthfully, and irrationally, feel scarred by the whole thing. Trust me, it isn't like we were stuck in a squall or anything. It was a brief moment of breeze and the whole thing lasted maybe two minutes, but I'm not a sailor and I was scared by the combination of not being able to go to my baby, and the idea of his getting hurt in an environment that I wasn't comfortable in.

Bryon has been sailing a lot out here in the year that we were in California, and I know he was eager to get us all out together. Anyway, I guess the weather was good while I was in Santa Clara and, on the spur of the moment (so he says, and I believe him), he decided to take Collin.

They had a great time and Bryon says Collin got a little bored toward the end, but he stayed calm and didn't go all crazy-Collin on him. He was a good boy and followed safety rules. I'm proud of him. Collin summed up the entire experience to me as follows:

"I looked through a spyglass. I was like a pirate."

I think he was relatively unimpressed. Maybe we need a bigger boat. I guess I'm over the whole thing and I'm willing to try again.

P.S. Note that Daddy is steering with his foot. It's a little weird, a little talented, and a little gross.