Things I Have Learned By Attending Grad School

It may be possible that this is specific to attending a school in California, but who knows? CSULB is a HUUUUUUGE school and my walk to class is over a mile. Thus, I have a lot of people watching to do. I do lots of observing...and being mean.

--if you are old enough to attend college, you are too old to be wearing Twilight T-shirts.

--if you are wearing the exact same clothes as the girl next to you, get a new friend...even if it's in a different color. Really. It's NOT a coincidence that like, oh my total god you were on like the same brainwave this morning! You are clones. Don't laugh. Scream. Scream and run.

--if you are annoyed that the "old" people (and there's a lot of us) in class speak or ask questions, you are a tool. You are only excused from this if they are asking a question that is spelled out, in black and white, on the syllabus and they are asking for the third time.

--if you are wearing a winter coat with a fur hood and it's 70 degrees and the person you are walking with is wearing shorts and flip flops, there's something wrong with one or both of you. I'm concerned about the value of your higher education if you cannot dress yourselves.

--if you sit through an entire class using your laptop to chat with someone on a sports site about trades and who knows what, you are probably wasting a lot of someone's money. Can I call them and ask them to pay for my next class? I'll get a lot more value out of their dollar for them.

--if, as an adult, you can't stay awake in a class that meets at NOON, there may be something wrong with you. Really. Or, try gee, I don't know, coffee.

--just because it's warm enough to wear a bathing suit, doesn't mean you should wear it to school.

--bras are not always optional. I'm talking to you DD with skinny strapped tank top. It's never optional for you. Never.

--the elevator is not a convenience, apparently it's just for lazy people. When you are parked on the roof, sure, take the elevator. If you are on crutches, sure, take the elevator. If you are sick, maimed, whatever. If you have had a bad day, whatever. If you are lazy, dude, come on. You are slowing it down for the rest of us, parked on the damn roof. Taking the elevator to level 2 is a bit absurd, don't you think? I see a Rascal scooter and one of those stair lifts in your future.

--which brings me to...my favorite...if you are wearing a mini skirt, hot pink fishnets and thigh high boots, it's best not to in the first place, but I digress. If you choose to, and the poor salesgirl had to special order a size for you because heck, the store just didn't have them that big, take the damn stairs.