Random Musings From This Week

1. The view from my corner is pretty rad. Yes, I said, "rad." I think that if I lug a camera the corner, in sweat drenched clothes and poop covered shoes, I'm entitled to 90's slang. I'll let you fill in whatever lame, (but please, at least grace me with amusing) story you like for why I was dressed in such a manner. (Note: Dog for sale, cheap--free cat included).

2. I'm a bad parent because I've allowed my child to reach the age of (nearly) three, and I have yet to purchase the basic art supply called: safety scissors. We were bored the other night and there was junk mail laying around and I thought, let's see if he can categorize pictures. "Collin, cut out 'nature,' Go!" Well, finding "nature" wasn't a problem. "Cut" was a problem. What, what, what was I thinking?! Stabbing, slicing, maiming, killing, all risks I was exposing his cute little body to. He did well. Amazingly, actually. Still, an investment in the craft aisle will be made soon.
3. My kid is darn cute. And, he looks a little like a bad ass sometimes; even if he is feeding duckies.

4. Gracie and Collin follow the age-old rule: a little for me, a little for you; no matter what. Thankfully, we were not feeding them stale, moldy bread this time, but fresh bread. Note the "stuffing of face" Gracie is doing, and the "chipmunk cheeks" my dear boy is doing. Collin kept saying, "just one for my mouth" and "one for the ducks' mouth....just ONE!"

5. Geese are darn ugly close up. I'm concerned about the bulbous thing that nature felt inclined to put in the top of their head. Clearly, other types of goose or duck evolutionarily speaking, felt disinclined to develop with them, yet this species thought, heck, it's worth the ghoulish appearance. And, since I'm not obtrusive enough with my huge size and obnoxious, in your face, behaviour, I might as well HONK when I approach. Geese. They are the best. My favorite part of the goose is the indignant attitude with which they seem to prance about, as if to say, "What? you think I'm absurd? Have you looked at you?" I mean, look at this guy, he seems pretty proud to look like that, doesn't he? Makes me wonder why I ever question my ass in any jeans if this guy is proud of his face hump.

6. It may be possible that seemingly innocent moments like this (mother and son bonding over browsing the J. Crew catalog).....

are leading to moments like this.....

7. And, that maybe he should be exposed to more stuff like this?

8. Although, the nanosecond he spent at each game made me glad that each one only cost one token and glad that we only had 25 of them to spend. I remembered Chuck E. Cheese as being fun and I'm sure he will too. Today, I had a totally different experience as an adult. It was fun, but I don't remember it being 850 degrees in there. When did that happen? I also don't remember it being akin to a VIP club. When was there a line out the door with a waiting list to get in? Thank goodness we were with a birthday party!

9. Chuck has changed. I know he's got to have street cred to be accessible to the youth of a different generation but Collin found him, understandably, disturbing. I think it had something to do with the level at which Chuck tried to "reach" him.

It's okay lil man, Mommy will protect you from the weird man in the mouse suit. Always.

10. My boy was certainly not switched with any other baby at the hospital. If Bryon had turned the camera just a little to the left, I was making this same face. Is there anything better than cake, anywhere, anytime?

Collin, clearly agrees with his mommy. He had two pieces. They cut really, really small pieces! Had to let the boy have two!

11. It's possible for other people to make babies that I find almost as adorable as my own. Look at these two poster children for perfect American children. Happy Birthday, Austin! Our leaving your party at the end, melting down in screaming hysterics has nothing to do with you, the fun of Chuck E. Cheese or with life in general, as you well know. It has to do with being three years old, having no nap and having too much fun in one afternoon.

12. Balloons are stinking great! Everyone loves balloons! Well, except cats, but who cares about them when kids are around?

13. Group photos of kids are always awkward. Brothers choke one another. My kid doesn't look. Someone walks out of the shot. But heck, at least we have proof that no one was snagged by Chuck. 14. Gracie loves Collin. Despite her misgivings and protests to the contrary sometimes, I have proof right here; she doesn't play hard to get all the time.

15. My son is going to be a terrible driver; yet another way in which he takes after his mama. And, that game is nauseating. Oh, and wow am I glad we don't have any kind of gaming system in our house. Phew, that was horrible.

16. The best smile of the day is always the last one. You're welcome for not taking any pictures of the actual restraining we had to do to remove him from the place because he was kicking and screaming not to leave. Yep, we were "those" parents with "that" kid having a complete and total wack-a-doodle meltdown. It was great. It was a memory for the scrapbook. Oh, and 300-lb lady with the skin-tight jeans and gold dangly chain belt, four inch finger nails and pink hair weave, thanks for rolling your eyes at me while my kid was having a meltdown. You seemed just like the kind of classy lady who would never ever have a problem with her kids. I'm trying not to judge here, but I'm just saying....I'll leave that hanging or I'll get in trouble.