Boys Will Be Boys

Hand to my heart, pinky swear, needle in my eye, all that jazz, I'm really the rough-houser in this family. I am the one to fling the kid a little harder and a little higher and to chase him down. I'm the one to rile him up five minutes before bed or give him a cookie right before nap and wonder why he's not sleeping. Still, Daddy gets in on the action a good deal of the time too. Actually, he's the one who gets involved just enough of the time that when there's an injury, like a smashed head into the wall hard enough to cry, that's Daddy. My theory is: practice makes perfect, so rough-house all the time! That way you won't break a bone, right? He's a boy!

They had a blast this morning.

Collin slept like a rock at nap time today; a statement that has never made much sense to me since rocks don't sleep. Suffice it to say that he slept for nearly four hours when we finally went to wake him up; this displeased him greatly.


Alas, can you say no to rough-housing with a kid who's having this much fun with his Daddy?

On a couch that looks this soft? Even if he's being tickle tortured under the inescapable Daddy?

OCD Anyone?

So, I'm watching Collin quickly become as crazy as I was as a toddler. I have been heralded with stories of how I obsessively wanted seven, only seven, not six, not eight mini-marshmallows before bed every night and lord help anyone who tried to put me to bed without them. I've been told that I had litanies of "special" phrases that had to be repeated in order or I wouldn't go to sleep.

Well, my boy is starting to go crazy if he can't line his cars up in perfect rows or stack his blocks just so. And, he's making crazy unreasonable demands on mommy lately. Today, he wants bananas cut in strips, tomorrow he wants it whole. Three days in a row, he wants his bed "closed" to sleep, then for a week, it has to be turned down or the world falls apart. I think he's becoming a nutcase.

Today, for nearly an hour, he built this little pillow fort out on the couch and neatly piled all of his cars into it. It may "seem" like a mess, but it wasn't. Each car was meticulously placed, and if any one fell to the side or moved in any way that wasn't in his master plan, those little feet stomped and he yelled like crazy. I'm pretty sure he's nuts.

Jeepers Creepers, Where'd You Get those Peepers?

Yep, zapppy zap complete! Hooray! I'm so excited. This is me, "before;" the last day with glasses, if you will.

This is me, "after," the last day having to wear absurd goggles taped to my face. It's a little humbling that after high-tech laser beams are zapped in your eyes and they make you able to see the world without the aid of your crappy glasses, they tape these stupid goggles to your face so you don't scratch your eyes out in your sleep. It reminded me of those collars they tape around a dog's neck so they can't over-lick a wound.

Anyhoo, I feel tons better today, being day two. And I didn't even feel bad on day one because I slept all day thanks to some sleeping pill that is apparently strong enough to knock out a herd of wildebeest. But, now I can see 20/15 in both eyes! Wahoo! And no more weird goggles, except when I sleep. And the whole zappy zap? Piece of cake. Anyone thinking of it?Do it! Do it! Do it!


It even comes with a free bowl of popcorn! Not really, I just thought this was a cute picture of Collin munching :)

To the Moon with you, Collin!

I let Bryon watch 2001: A Space Odyssey on Father's Day. Admittedly, I moderately liked it. We left the evidence of our geekdom out for Collin to find the next morning, and apparently, I'm falling down on my training in teaching my son in all things "boy;" because he saw the astronaut on the cover and was astounded and amazed at what this person could be. Thus, a long and tedious morning of conversations about what an astronaut is, what one does and what is the grand and vastness of space. Oh boy!

I have spent the next four days trying to get a video to upload that won't. Sorry grandparents. But, guess what Collin has decided? He wants to be an astronaut! We have been zooming to the potty in pretend zero gravity, turning the lights on with our feet, all kinds of silliness. And, we've learned that because a great number of astronauts are also in the AF, we should not, probably, be kissing them. It's sort of a policy the military has. Well, it's okay for him to kiss the girl ones (if it doesn't interfere with the mission, of course...I do, fully expect my son, who will attain the position of astronaut to be a stud). Anyhoo, that's what the video is about.

Alas, today I decided that I would like to send him on his first moonwalk early as this is what I discovered upon going to wake him from nap.

He demolished his room, stripped his bed of all but the fitted sheet, and took all of his clothes out of the drawers before settling into sleep.

Apparently, he did it in stealth mode because I heard none of this on the baby monitor. Seriously. Either that, or I'm the worst mother on the planet. I choose to think he's stealthy...and cute.

Reasons We Need a Bigger House

1. Collin would appreciate it if we bought him a large saltwater aquarium, big enough to accommodate starfish, stingrays, sharks and the numerous tank-cleaning and fish-feeding divers we saw at the Long Beach Aquarium this weekend. I've decided petting a starfish was good enough for him.

2. This.

The track that encompasses our entire patio and the three cars is only part, nay, about half of the track that comes with the thing.

Yes, it's cool. Yes it's awesome. Yes, the kid loves it. Yes, it's battery powered and amazing. It was Bryon's favorite toy as a child and it's lasted and been saved for what, eons now to be handed down. Where are we going to keep it? Who the heck knows? It is, after all, the size of a small country. But, Can you resist this face on there? Not when he was giving rides to his teddy bears.

And not, when he was helping to set the table the next morning. Maybe he knows he got the goods.

Collin Takes a Meeting then Feels the Burn

Daddy took the day off today so that I could get my eyes dilated in preparation for laser beam surgery next week and so that I could go to the dentist in preparation for well, nothing at all, just routine cleaning. When Daddy takes leave, it really means nothing to the family except that he doesn't actually get dressed and leave the house for work, he just puts his computer on the kitchen table and uses his cell phone instead of a phone that is likely on a desk in a cubicle at work. Oh, and those nifty leave days get deducted from his leave account somehow, despite the fact that he's actually "working" anyway. Go figure.

But, because the two computers were lined up next to one another and the two "men" were right next to each other at the table, it looked like they were both at the meeting. Homer too, now that he's well enough to take meetings too. It was a little cute. No one had to know that one of them was looking at pictures of himself on the blog, an activity he demands often, of late. No one said that I wasn't raising a vain little monster!

After his brief pow-wow with the big wigs though, he felt it important to get a little workout in. Despite his best efforts, he found Mommy's weights a little too heavy and decided that he should stick with what Daddy offered him. I won't show you the picture of Daddy flipping off the camera. No, that wouldn't be complimentary, would it? Instead, I'll show you adorable Collin, trying to imitate Mommy exercising, since Daddy doesn't provide a good example of exercise. Tee hee. See, Mommy picks on Daddy, is it any wonder he flipped me off?

To Hell in a Handbasket

So, I'm certain that cookies for breakfast is not a good idea. I know that cookies are nowhere on the food pyramid and are not part of a balanced breakfast; but the little guy does ask for them all the time and what can I say? I'm a sucker for his cuteness. No, I don't give in all the time. Okay, never. Never, do I give in! Just this one time! I swear!

But, clearly it was the beginning of evil tidings for the next few days. He got it in his head that once he had a cookie for breakfast, it was then a good idea to strangle Mommy with her sweat towel from the treadmill. I ask you, if you are going to be killed by any implement in the house, should it be with your own sweat? I guess if the murderer is so cute, it's not so bad.

Then, he decided an all out coup of parental units, replacing us with the grandparents, that is. He figured that Granny and Granddad were more fun and would prefer them to boring, stuffy, rule-making Mommy and Daddy; all this of course, resulting from my giving him an inch with that whole cookie for breakfast thing. Never again! Kidding, of course. Granny and Granddad make him follow the same rules. They are just better at disguising the rules as fun than we are.

I learned my lesson. No more cookies for breakfast little man...unless of course you are cute and sweet and say wonderful things to me; like today. I spent the last two and a half days with a terrible migraine in bed. I asked him this morning how it makes him feel when I'm sick, fearing that it scared him and I was ready with a reassuring speech. He said, "No like when Mama sick! Give Collin boo boo in heart!" Awww, that's it! Cookies for breakfast every day!