Parlez-Vous Collin?

So, Collin has decided we can move to Paris. At least, that's what I've deduced from his enjoyment of our lunch yesterday. We went to Santa Monica and they have a Crepe Cafe. (P.S. you'll note that I've not bothered to figure out where the appropriate accent marks are for the duration of this post; so, sorry to the French but I shall butcher the correct spellings!).

The initial plan was hot dogs on the pier. When I saw Cafe Crepe with a little Eiffel Tower in the window, I actually squealed and since Bryon cannot deny me anything, we ate there instead. Can you tell that I'm super happy to be there?

Yummy! Yummy! Yummy! Brie, Prosciutto and Egg. I want to live there; France that is, not the cafe. Seriously. And Collin decided that his Parisian version of a hot dog was A-Okay. He was even delighted with the Swiss Emmental cheese and Bechamel Sauce. My little gourmand.

He was also not to unhappy with the bonus crepe we ordered to share since it was sugar and cinnamon filled and just delicious. Who wouldn't be happy with that? I think I'll have no trouble convincing him to be my little Euro-travel partner.

He then passed a delightful day learning to play skee-ball for the first time. Folks, did you know, that skee-ball is NOT an overhand game?

Yeah, I was pretty sure I knew that before we played too; but, a refresher is always good.

With Collin handicapping our score, we won two army men with our amassed five tickets; not that Daddy's skee-ball skills helped any (read: Daddy sucks at skee-ball)

He also got to ride the ferris wheel overlooking the ocean. He was pretty sure it went "up high" but he was pretty impressed with how "up high" it went. He kept saying it, over and over and over again. It was a bit much since we were maybe, one of three people on there and we got to spend a long time waiting to unload.

And, he got to, of course, ride the carousel. What would a trip to the pier be without a ride on the carousel? Looks petrified in the photos doesn't he? I assure you, he wasn't. He alternated between pure awe and squeals of glee. Unfortunately, we only clicked the shutter on shots of awe. No glee.

Nope, we didn't make him ride a chariot

Zoo!

Collin had so much fun at the zoo today that he decided to run away from us and live there. Fine by us.
Just kidding, of course. We were reunited and he has decided that he would, of course, like to live with us until we are legally allowed to kick his behind out at eighteen. It's eighteen, right? He's being a pain lately and if it's really two, I'd like to know about it.

You might wonder why we have almost no pictures of such a wonderful day at the zoo. He was actually extraordinarily well-behaved; so much so, that he got a whole pack of animal crackers in the car on the way home! Anyway, it is because a two year old at the zoo moves at approximately the speed of light. At least this one does. I could show you the dozens of pictures I have of me, or Bryon smiling and Collin's leg at the edge of the frame. Would those interest you?

And no, no he didn't crash in the car on the way home. I'm beginning to wonder who's sneaking into our house in the morning, feeding this kid sugar smacks and crack and spiking his milk with speed because he's become a complete lunatic of late. Sleep! Sleep! Sleep! You're killing your parents, Collin!

Why Tarps Were Invented

If you see this truck next to you on the 405, on the way to the zoo, is it a bad omen? And, what's the deal with the pink ones? Tarp, Mr. Truck Driver, tarp. You cover dung, dirt, even loads of nothing. But loads of coffins? Nope. Let the world just take a gander. Shouldn't freak anyone out. No, siree.

Hooray! Computer Nirvana!

So, my laptop, the other center of my universe, took a dive this week. A serious dive. A dive to the deep end. An unrecoverable dive. You might blame it on a few dives off the kitchen table, a few dives off the arm of the couch, a few dives off the bathroom counter (don't ask what it was doing in there); all caused by the actual center of my universe (yes, of course, Collin). The problem was deemed to be complete hard drive failure. We had to buy a new one. Bryon decided that since I use it so much, he'd buy me an extra present too: one of those mini computers for just the Internet and word processing functions for all my writing. Awesome. Anyway, despite wishing all technology complete death as of last week, I'm in computer nirvana this week.

Collin has taken all of this in stride. Perhaps because I went to a garage sale over the weekend and discovered a joyous thing: a jumbo version of his $1 stocking stuffer that he's been dragging all over the house for the past solid month. It also cost me $1 and has brought him much joy. What is with this kid and erasable magnetic drawing boards? Just wait until he discovers the Etch-a-Sketch! All bets are off, boy! I love that he can't put one down to play with the other.

And, he got garbage manny back! Mommy took him away last week when he peed his pants on purpose. It was the first, and only (hopefully) time he'd ever done it. Grrr, I was so mad. Anyway, I forgot I took it away! So, did Collin, I think. So, when he got it back, the reunion was sweet, to say the least. Have you ever seen a kid hug a plastic truck? If only he loved me that way. If only. Maybe I need to put myself up on top of the hutch for a week and see what happens.

And, to say Collin was pleased to see Daddy come back from Canada would be an understatement. He was a bit disappointed that his Canadian souvenir was a hockey jersey; but that may be because he doesn't know that hockey is good, violent, boy fun! He'll figure it out soon enough. Isn't it in their DNA? He looks cute anyway though, right? But, weird Canadians, apparently, this is a size 2-4!! What?!

The Ups and Downs of Johnny Sparkles

So, it's been raining a bit here. That's rough news for the C-man. Really rough. He takes it especially rough when his Mama doesn't look out the dang window before putting him in the stroller, opening the garage door and rolling him out into the street to go to the park. Yep, I felt a bit of a breeze. Sure, a droplet. I thought, heck, it'll pass before we even get to the corner. Nope, it started pouring before we got to the bottom of the driveway and we had to turn back. Did he cope with this well? No. No he didn't.

Alas, we got over it by the next day. Yes, it was a rough day in entirety for that WHOLE freaking day! You'd think I cut out his gizzard or something. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! The next day, I didn't make up for it. I promised him a trip to the mall for a haircut, which he has been asking for (darn it, knew I should've held off!). We get there, and I realized that I forgot my wallet. Had to turn around and go home...not a quick trip! He was a bit disappointed to say the least. Try telling a two-year-old to just enjoy the beautiful ocean scenery. He was not amused.

To make up for it, I did what everyone should give me a medal for...glitter crafts! I cut out little fishies out of florescent poster board and we made glue patterns and dumped pounds (yes, I'm sure that's the closest approximation of volume) of glitter on them. I think my house is more glitter per square foot now than anything else. Know what? I should've washed his hands before I let him pee. Know what I did NOT take a picture of? His little man unit that remained coated in glitter for the remainder of the day. Know what else though? I decided to call him and his little man unit Johnny Sparkles until it is no longer funny to me. Seriously, it was dressed up like a Vegas showgirl down there. I did, however take a few pictures that do not do justice to just how sparkle-infested he actually was.

Then, we hit meltdown. He has gotten up at around 6 every day this week. Don't ask me why. Apparently, his bladder has made this decision for him and he has been reluctant to get his "cowboy" wet (aka pull-up). I should be happy since it is a step toward nighttime dryness, but I just wish he'd go back to bed. I'm also a bit irritated that he decided that along with getting up 2 hours earlier than normal, he decided that skipping nap was the way to go about business today. He was also similarly unamused by his decision. Thankfully, these are a rare, rare, rare treat. For three days, I've tried to upload a video of this special occasion (the tantrum, followed by it's abrupt end sparked by a piece of trash discovered in the couch cushion and a burped "I love you"). Alas, my computer hasn't cooperated; so, you all get nothing. Aren't you bummed about not getting to see a shrieking kid?

What I Don't Have Pictures Of....

So, you get random other pictures from the last two days that I found amusing. Of course, I always find him amusing.

Collin "holding" his breath today.

So cute! He had the hiccups and I told him to hold his breath. In typical, literal-taking-two-year-old fashion, he sucked in his breath, cupped his hands in front of his mouth and held all the breath that he exhaled.

Collin getting a "certificate" for helping me carry bread in the grocery store...

I let him carry a baguette to the checkout stand. He proudly plopped it on the register and when the checkout lady handed him the receipt for all his hard work, I told him to hold onto it. Apparently, he felt this was a reward and he thought it was a certificate. Ha! He was pretty proud of it. His prideful accomplishment wore off by the time we got home. Thank goodness I didn't have to frame a Von's receipt! But, how adorable was it to hear him shouting, "Collin cefificate!" Yeah, that's how he says it, with two f's.

A Cowboy Considers the Navy

Collin visited the Queen Mary this weekend with Daddy, Granddaddy and PJ.

He thought it was pretty awesome.

He also thought it was pretty exhausting and gave Daddy the illusion of snuggle up nap time. It was a sweet thought.

And, now that Daddy's gone for yet another week, Collin has let his true colors shine through and has revealed that yes, he loves my new boots as much as I do. He snuck into my closet and put them on. Is this adorable, or what? Sure, I cut his head off in the shot, but I was a little worried about him falling down the stairs in boots that were twenty sizes too big for him. What can I say? I think he pulls them off, don't you?