Today Magnum P.I. Will Be Played By....

Chris Farley.

Or, Collin McClain. I guess it depends on how you look at it. I choose to look at as Collin McClain, especially when he's making the Chris Farley face.

You may say it looks like the ham and cheese smile. I say there's a small distinction that, yes, maybe only a mother can recognize. I hate the Chris Farley face when he makes it. I love the ham and cheese face. So, for today, the mug shot, no expression pose may be better to show off his outfit.

He decided to wear a hat today, all be it, briefly. Whatever, the case was, I took that decision and ran with it. Since it was a Detroit hat, and it happened to coincide with Hawaiian Friday, he looked a lot like Tom Selleck in his Magnum P.I. days.

(who, by the way, in all photos I could find wore plenty of Hawaiian shirts and plenty of Detroit caps but not both at the same time. What the heck! Apparently, he thought the hat was just to casual for "dressed up" Hawaiian shirts. I don't know; I didn't watch the show.)

Of course, it wasn't Collin's fault he looked like an 80's sex symbol. He just goes with the flow around here and Mommy didn't stop him like she should have. Noooooo, she just snapped pictures, later to incriminate him. He doesn't look like he minds too much at the moment.

He also looked darn cute. I also figured that since I managed to break him of the pacifier, I would take on the challenge of finally getting this kid to wear a hat and keep it on his head for longer than thirty seconds. So, we went to the park with a hat on, with the promise of a cookie when he got home if he kept it on the whole time.

Did he get a cookie when he got home? No. Did he keep it one relatively long? Yes. He wore it about 80% of the time. But, I'm a stickler for rules so no cookie. I know, I suck. But, it was a success in my book. I think it would've stayed on if it fit him better. It kept popping off, so I probably should give him a cookie. We'll see; maybe later for something random, like hugging me.

P.S. Thank you Aunt Roty for letting us participate in Hawaiian Friday again by buying Collin a shirt that actually fits him!

He Loves Rock n' Roll

Collin and I had another date today. Daddy's gone, so aside from the torture I decided to inflict upon him last night via taking away his drug of choice permanently (aka pacifier), I thought it might be nice of me to take him somewhere fun too, just the two of us. I also thought it might be fun to wear him thoroughly out so that tonight when he went to bed, he might not ask for the darn pacifier for quite as long. So, despite the fact that he let me get all of six minutes of sleep last night, I took him to the zoo today AND out for a special dinner. He looks like he deserves it, doesn't he? Look how pathetic he looks after he finally fell asleep for the first time last nigt, for the first time, pacifier-free.

The crazy part of the zoo plan? We didn't bring in the stroller. Yeah, I took wearing the kid out as a serious mission. We walked the whole way. He was so tuckered out that he actually started laying down on the sidewalk when I refused to carry him further. Hey, you'd stop carrying him too! He's heavy and it's a long walk! I don't care if he's cute. But, I relented and picked him up after realizing what it looked like to passers-by to have me standing over my exhausted child and begging him to just get up and walk. I mean, he wasn't THAT tired, he just didn't want to walk anymore. But to someone else, I probably looked like a crazy person.

Anyway, we went to Redondo Beach for a burger at Ruby's Diner afterward. He had so much fun there, coupled with lying down in the parking lot on the way back to the car, of course. Jeesh, you'd think I was killing the kid! He took a nap between these two events! I think he was milking the exhaustion factor a little bit; and, he wasn't even the one who had to carry his sorry butt a half-mile through the darn zoo back to the car earlier in the day. I'm the one who should've been lying in the street in the ocean breeze, I think! Besides, I'm the one who's now got his cold and he's the one on the mend.

The upside is that we had an awesome day together, just hanging out and seeing animals. He's pretty sure we saw peacocks and elephants, which we did not. He's also pretty sure that it's a really good idea to lick, yes LICK the toilet seat cover dispenser in the restroom at Ruby's. EWWWW! I'm just trying to block that memory, along with the memory of him touching the floor of the public restroom of the beach access public parking garage at Redondo Beach, which he just HAD to use before we went home. I'll just do my best to replace those two memories with the fact that we were out of the house all day today and he didn't have a single accident. Wahoo!

Or, I'll replace it with the memory of ride home from dinner, during which Collin decided to sing along with Joan Jett on the radio..."I Love Rock and Roll." Yeah, so put another dime in the juke box, baby. As, I type this, he was singing it to his monkey upstairs in his bed. Apparently, it's a catchy little tune.

I Couldn't Decide

Collin's been a poopie head today. Let me qualify that statement with some explanation. He threw a forty-five minute tantrum that revolved around my not giving him a piece of bread. He hid in the closet to pee his pants during nap time (AFTER he refused to go). He has named ever body part imaginable prefaced by the words "boo boo," pretty much endlessly all day long in the whiniest voice possible and he's a dripping wet faucet of drool, snot and tears all at once. Still, I'm in love with him. Who wouldn't be with this going on?

Despite the description of his craptacular day, he's had these moments of awesomeness.

He gave me so many ham and cheese smiles when I whipped out the camera to capture this moment of "mama shoes on!" that I couldn't pick which picture was the best one.

Could you?

Seriously, these are the best. He's such a cutie pie. (In case you are wondering, Daddy's gone again, and when he's gone, pants are apparently optional around here.)

I decided to forgive him, even for the pee pee incident. I know it's just because he doesn't feel good. That's the first time he's done that. Still, it made me angry enough to for the ultimate punishment for him. Pacifiers all gone!

They are in "the trash." Well, he thinks they are. They are in a coffee cup in the cupboard. I've vowed not to give in tonight when he wails. I didn't give them back for the rest of his nap, despite the fact that he refused to go back to sleep. I didn't give in the rest of the day today, despite the forty-five minute tantrum and I've not given in for all our trips to the potty. It's involved a lot more positive clapping and a few more cookie rewards to remind him that sure, he's capable of peeing without something in his mouth, but I think we'll make it past this hump. It'll be nice to get rid of that darn thing. Wish me luck tonight.

Oh, and wish me luck with base maintenance. Anyone who's ever lived in base housing knows how bad we need it. I have a hole in my house! I took a bath last night and Bryon came in and yanked me out by the hair to show me that the tub water was leaking out downstairs into the kitchen! Okay, he didn't pull me out by the hair; he gently asked me to get out so the tub didn't come crashing through the floor. Still, maintenance was reluctant to remove the drywall to fix the moldy gross mess. They thought just fixing the leaky overflow valve was enough. Grrrr.

Poor Little Sick Boy

So, do you feel sorry for this kid? Yeah, I'm not sure I do either. He doesn't look all that pitiful. Still, he sure acts like the biggest baby I've ever seen when he's sick. Seriously. He spends most of his energy telling me just how sick he really is; despite the fact that I've used all of four tissues so far to wipe that nose of his (okay, maybe because I'm a little frugal and reuse tissues a lot but still, that says a lot for just how runny his nose isn't). Yes, he's sick. Yes, his nose is a bit runny. Yes, he sounds congested. Sure, he's coughing. Sure, he's hot and cold. Blah, blah, blah. I love the kid more than life itself but he whines a big show.

Anyway, he's gotten to watch more t.v. in the past two days than in his entire life combined because of this life-threatening illness he's trying to convince me that he's got. Between his "shows" as he's calling them, he tells me that he's got "boo boos," everywhere, (today it was mainly his eyes) and that he wants to go back to bed. He hauls his tookus back up there for little 20 minute flop-fests on his bed where he just stares at the ceiling and yells for me to sit on the floor and stare with him. It's fun being the parent of this sick kid, let me tell you.

Okay, now the good part. He's a hug machine. So, grandparents that aren't here, sorry! You're really missing out. He's actually stopped mid-pee to get up and give me a hug just because I was there, sat back down and finished up his business. Yeah, he's on love overload right now. That, I can live with. The whining, I can do without.

Oh, and by the way; you guys should've been here yesterday despite risking exposing yourself to the plague because look what I did! Doesn't this look good?

Cheesecake! Am I the hostess with the mostest or what? I was so proud of myself...until, I cut into it and it was undercooked in the middle. I am known, seriously, KNOWN for my cheesecake (FAMILY it's time to comment here!!!!). I have never undercooked a cheesecake. Grrrr. So, it may look good, but it was only good on the outside two thirds.

Don't worry, I was redeemed on the cookies :)

And, the fresh strawberries, and the brie and french bread, etc........boy, you really should be in our book club, huh?

Triplet "Twin" Bed

I have to admit, I'm starting to dig the big boy bed. It makes story time pretty groovy. We get to snuggle up together instead of sitting on the floor. And, when we talk about our day right before lights out, whoa boy do those snuggles really start to get close.

Ack! Mommy's wearing shoes on the bed! She really shouldn't do that. But, she has to otherwise Homer eats them. Sad, but true. She was too lazy to go put them away before bedtime routine so she was stuck wearing them on the bed for their own protection.

Does this look like a horrible time, or what?

Our butler, Garcon took these pictures for us (okay, it was Daddy's extended arm). Know what he said when he saw them? "My hands look weird." Is he vain, or what? Who thinks their HANDS look weird? Oh, and this is a laughing kid, not a crying kid, I swear.

I mean, what kind of self-respecting mama would hate this? I have to admit, the crib's exit wasn't so bad, if it allows this kind of goodness.

Not so great...Collin deciding to get the mugumbo last night. That's what I call the plague that has swept through our little circle of friends in the last twelve hours. It's hit everyone differently. With Collin it started with taking THREE freaking hours to fall asleep because of "boo boo nose, boo boo face, boo boo ear, boo boo head and boo boo mouth." I'm pretty sure if he knew he had a uvula (that doo hicky that is in the back of your throat, he'd have complained about that too).

Then, at midnight, he proceeded to have the longest night terror in the history of night terrors. It seemed like it lasted an hour . Now, that I'm more rational, maybe it was only about thirty minutes. But it was his first sleepwalking and talking episode (apparently, something we get to look forward to more of since kids with terrors do this frequently, hooray!). He told us he was certain he had to pee, hysterically crying of course, as per night terror protocol. So, being good parents, we took him. Also, as per night terror protocol, he occasionally has moments of "off-switch" and decides to fall onto me like a limp sock, almost back into dead sleep, which he did to pee as if I was the potty. It's really nice to function as your kid's potty chair. Don't worry, Daddy got in on the action too when I propped Collin back up and Collin finished his fire hose routine on Daddy's foot. Hysterics ensued and we were back to full on night terror mode from there. Anyone else's kid have these? They are HORRIBLE! NOT the same as a nightmare. NOT at all, not one little itty bitty bit. We get those too, like anyone else but these suck worse, I think. They seem scarier.

Anyway, when it was finally over, we had to sleep with him for a while...then Daddy had to sleep on his floor all night because he was so freaked out he couldn't be alone. A twin bed is fun to snuggle in for a bit before bed...not to sleep in for any length of time as a family. And, when he's getting sick he has a tendency to not want to be alone. Alas, he's sick.

I got him into the doctor in time to be told...nothing. Yeah, Mr. Doctor told me to get him in ASAP next time he was sick because my man doesn't let on when he has ear aches, so we suspect. So, we got him in. No ear infection. Just the mugumbo. But, the kiddo didn't want to eat much today and that tells me he's probably as sick as he's going to get!

Hoppy Easter!

We aren't necessarily what you'd call "Easter" people. Sure, we like candy. We like bunnies. We like fuzzy, baby chicks and cute kids all dressed up; but, anyone who knows us very well knows that we don't really "do" the whole church business very well. We're cool with it but it's not our show. Anyway, the extent of our Easter celebration consits of seeing how big our Peanut keeps getting in comparison to his first picture with the Easter Bunny. This is a joke because he was supposed to miss his first Easter by a few weeks but of course he was WAY too early and showed up in plenty of time. Still, Bryon deemed the Easter Bunny's lap at the mall a lap-o-germs for a baby that was born semi-pre-term and freaked out when I thought a picture would be oh so cute. Anyway, it started this tradition.

Thanks to Grandpa and Nana Debby for providing us with our home Easter Bunny for yearly use. I don't know what we'll do when Collin gets old enough to actually want to see the "real?" Easter bunny at the mall. This is just way more fun, I think.

Whoa, what a difference a year made...I thought I would couldn't be anymore shocked after this shot; that was, until this year.

What does this kid eat? I mean, seriously? Who told him he could grow THAT BIG!! And, what really, really got me was remembering that the year before we had to snap, snap, snap those pictures really quick before he scampered away or put the bunny in his mouth still. This year, I gave him a direction: sit here and give me "ham and cheese." Know what? He did it! Sure, it's a dorky face with eyes closed. Sure, it looks weird. Sure, I still had to snap the picture at light speed because I had ONE chance before he was off like lightening to something else. But you know what? It was an awesome change from the year before; both because it was awe inspiring and because it was cool (and becasue I still melt for ham and cheese).

Collin got a kick out of Easter at the park, by the way. I think any holiday that combines candy and the out of doors is going to be thumbs up in his book. He actually ate his first piece of candy while it was still wrapped. We couldn't get it out of his grubby little fingers in time to remove the foil; so, we had to perform a Hershey kiss foil extraction from his mouth. He was covered in melted chocolate drool within seconds of our arrival. We had the classiest looking kid there. I was proud.

He has braved up about bouncy houses since Austin's birthday parties too. Maybe he remembered they were cool; or, maybe he thought it was cool becasue Gracie was there. Whatever the case was, it was hard to keep him out of there for long, which was something I recommended after he ate not only his lunch but a good portion of Gracie's.

If I Had the Patience to Edit

I have often (okay, occasionally...okay, rarely) mentioned that I should "edit" some of my photos to look cooler. We actually do own some software, so I'm told by my husband who takes geeky photos that do not contain people. What's the fun in those kinds of pictures, I ask. Anyway, in one of my rare moments of mentioning that I should edit pictures today, I thought of how I could make my little man's moments look any better.

Like sneaking into his room on his first night with the big boy bed when I thought he'd finally fallen asleep to take that "first" sleeping picture. Yeah, he wasn't asleep. But, he was quiet. I'm not sure how I would've edited this picture if I'd bothered except to be a better photographer...or a more patient one who actually waited until he was really asleep.

Or, this one of a similar theme at nap time today. After I lost it, and actually screamed at him and slammed his door, a rarity of such occasion in this household that my son found it hilarious instead of scary (which did nothing to improve my ire), I wanted a shot right before he woke up. Lo and behold, kitty was sleeping with him. How did that happen? Maybe he snuck in one of the sixteen thousand times I had to open the door to tell him to GET BACK IN THE FRIGGING BED! Oh, wait. Sorry, lost myself there for a second. Anyway, If I could edit it. I might fully clothe my child. I might also put him IN THE FRIGGING bed instead of on top of it. And, I might take the picture before the cat decided to start crawling off...you know when they were all snuggled and cute. But, you get the idea, right?

Then, there's this precious moment that I actually adore; but, proves my inability to photograph anything that moves with much talent. See, Collin LOVES it when we throw pillows at his head. You'd think I was lying and using this as an excuse to propel objects at my kid's melon to relieve stress; if you didn't see the picture of his glee. If it doesn't hit him in the head at full speed, he's not pleased. In fact, if it knocks him down full flat, he's all the more happy for it. Hey, I just made the kid, I make no explanations for him. Anyway, the picture clearly shows his joy, the whack back of his head, 3/4 of my living room....and the itty-bitty corner of the pillow. So, it's awful. Should I bother to know how to edit, I think you know what I'd fix.

We also have here the wipe procedure for poops in our house. Collin has decided that he needs to bend over and take it like a man. Yeah, he's weird. No one told him to do this; he just took it upon himself that this is the easiest way to be wiped. He sticks his little head between our knees, back out, and bends over. It's pretty funny. It's hard to get a picture of. Shadows, red-eye (oh how I could make a very bad joke about the brown eye), lots of tops of heads. You name it. Anyway, I don't bother to fix it half the time so there's plenty to pick on.

And, of course, he gets bored half-way through the wipe procedure, and who wouldn't, and wants to escape.

Anyway, I love all my horrible pictures because they are horrible pictures of my wonderful son who delights and amazes me everyday. He had his two year well baby appointment today. Will they keep calling them that for me until he's eighteen and simply having a physical? Seriously, I want to take my son to his 18 year old well baby check. Anyway, he's well. He's still a giant kiddo in those weird percentiles but he's trending towards getting taller and skinnier so we are happy. And, he's still got a freakishly small melon. Maybe that's why he likes getting hit with pillows? But, he's happy and healthy and his Mommy likes taking tons of pictures of him for it, even if she never bothers to do any editing beyond red-eye correct right on the darn camera.